COLUMN: Running on empty - minds, that is

From Matthew Taff's, "My Dear Wormwood?," Fall '96 From Matthew Taff's, "My Dear Wormwood?," Fall '96 Every other day -- when we're being good -- I go running with a friend of mine. I have classes in the morning and he works in the afternoon, so the earliest we are both free for an hour is usually in the evening between 8 and 10. Of course, Penn students provide some interesting sights as well. On Thursday and Friday nights, there are the freshman packs, who roam like wolves on the hunt for loud music and cheap beer. But by far, the most thought-provoking, unexpected, inexplicable phenomenon on Philadelphia's poorly lit streets are the lone female joggers. Now, I am not stupid enough to think that just because I'm a guy, I'm immune to crime. The last two months have been proof enough of that. I'm certainly not foolish enough to think two guys whose average height and weight is 6'1", 185 lbs. -- even if we're running at a good pace and carrying absolutely no money -- are immune to crime. In fact, there are times I think my health and well-being might be better served if we didn't run. However, I feel at ease as we jog, safe in the knowledge that female joggers, much like the clown in the rodeo, are drawing the bulls (muggers) toward a much more appealing target. All sarcasm aside, let me be blunt: Running alone at night is stupid. Muggers aren't stupid. They know that on average, women are smaller and physically weaker than men. Muggers are also lazy. After all, they're stealing your money because it's easier than earning it themselves, right? Just as electrons in an atom want to have the least amount of energy, muggers want to choose a victim who is capable of least resistance. I questioned several girls I know who run alone in the evenings about this apparently total lack of common sense. More than half of these girls said that if someone tried to attack them, they would "outrun them." Picture this: A lone female jogger is almost through her five-mile run. She's got her Walkman blasting away, so she can't hear cars or people approach her from behind -- does anyone else think this is a bad move on her part? Some guy jumps out from a corner 10 yards in front of her, waves his arms to get her attention, and screams "I'm coming to mug you!" The jogger turns around, summons a great burst of energy based on fear and adrenaline, and runs safely away. If you think this is a realistic situation, raise your hand -- you've just won the Taff Idiot Award. To think your running ability will ensure your safety is ludicrous. Muggers have guns. Some have cars. Some might even have friends. At her peak, not even Florence Griffith-Joyner could have outrun all of the above. Neither can you. Another response from my female friends was "Well, if I see any suspicious-looking characters, I'll turn around or cross the street." While this is a smart thing to do, it's not foolproof. What if they grab you from behind? What if they're faster than you? What if you can't take a turn or cross the street? I've seen women running by themselves across the South Street Bridge. If there's traffic, what are you going to do -- jump in the water? After going to the bridge and spending about two seconds trying to think like a mugger, I found a spot where I could hide and be virtually impossible to spot. I asked my jogging partner to run past and see if he could see me; he couldn't, and it was daylight, and he knew where to look. Once someone has grabbed you, unless you can break away, it won't matter how fast you can run. Yes, thinking that women are more vulnerable to crime is a stereotype. If you read my last column, you know all stereotypes have exceptions. After four years studying karate, I've met women who were strong and fast enough to kick the crap out of almost any mugger. The ones who jogged were also smart enough to run during the day. The fact is, women are seen as easier prey than men. Women are also more prone to attacks a lot nastier than a garden-variety mugging, such as rape. These attacks can be disastrous to a person and leave emotional scars that are far more damaging than the physical or financial ones. Put simply, running by yourself at night is stupid. Be smart. Don't wear a Walkman while you run. Carry mace or pepper spray. If you can, run during the day, with a friend. If you can't, run at night -- with as many friends as you can. If you don't have any friends who run, my friend and I jog three nights a week; e-mail me and you're welcome to join us. Being safe, after all, is a lot better than being dead.