DP Swamis: The 45-year tradition of pigskin prognostication. The quotes are real, So are the turbans,

Looking to get the bottom of the controversy, we Swamis dialed up the top brass of the Yankees looking to speak to the Boss. Instead, we were put through some guy who called himself only "Operator Two." When we Swamis inquired what he thought of l'instance de question (we Swamis did not pass our french proficiency yet, but we do dine at Le Bec-Fin), Mr. Two gave out the oh-so guilty "no comment" comment. So could we speak with any number that can voice an opinion, we inquired? "No," Mr. Two said. "No one from the Yankees." Shunned by the New Yawkers (shocker!), we Swamis wanted to see if we'd have better luck on the other side. So, we flew out to the nest of the Baltimore Orioles, but unfortunately took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up at TicketMaster. After first talking to some lady who "doesn't even watch baseball," we asked to speak to someone in the know and were directed to Marlin, the tres busy assistant manager. Marlin was direct and to the point: "It shouldn't have been allowed. What can I say? That's New York." Seeking to settle the matter, we Swamis flew back to New York, but not to visit the scene of the alleged crime, but rather to see the Major League "commissioner," the one and only Bud Selig. But alas, we were shunned for arriving too late, so we did the next best thing -- visit Mrs. Selig in Philadelphia. But Mrs. Selig was not exactly the ideal judge of the hullabaloo. "I was half-asleep [during the game]," Mrs. Selig told us. "I don't remember [the play]." Oh well, them's the break we say. But at least Mrs. Selig was sport enough to be our guest swami. Her picks: Dartmouth over Holy Cross, Princeton over Brown (even the sleepy Mrs. Selig knows Brown sucks), Cornell over Harvard, Bucknell over Yale and Bagnoli's boys over Columbia. So it is up to us -- yes, all of us -- to decide the truth of the matter. And we Swamis feel that those concentrating on the strict rule of law are missing the larger truth: those that spit on the rule-deciders, often lose the close, and not-so close, calls. And just to prove that we Swamis are above politicking, we decided to steal the controversial ball from N.Y.'s favorite 12-year old. For 10 bucks you can come see it on display at the Pink Palace.