COLUMN: I Want My UTV13

From Mark Tonsetic's "Java Daze," Fall '95 The only problem that could have interrupted this piece of paradise was a broken remote. No matter what I pressed, the third channel change always returned to Wade Cable channel 55 like some psychotic puppy. According to male instinct, this should have been cause for shrieking and wailing, gnashing of teeth and tearing of hair, that sort of thing. Yet right before the remote had an unpleasant encounter with the fireplace, channel 55 took the opportunity to pull me into a bizarre black-and-white version of Franz Kafka's The Trial, with Anthony Perkins in the role of Joseph K. It was the kind of film that Tim Burton might have grown up on -- a welcome oasis in the television desert. Who could I thank? Suddenly, a bright red T burst into the corner of the screen. Welcome to Wade Cable channel 55, Temple University TV. Cruising through the no-man's land between channels 60 and 80, I found that St. Joe's as well as a number of smaller institutions had found a niche in my cable box. That is, with one notable exception. Penn's University Television 13 (Channel 24 for the hardcore version) has been in successful operation for longer than the four years I've lived in Philadelphia. In between replays of Houston Hall concerts, UTV13 has put on some decent stuff. It's not always enough to keep you from going to the fridge, but it can be entertaining to the members and observers of the Penn community. That group, to judge by the readership of the DP, includes anywhere between 22,000 and 35,000 people. UTV13, by contrast, only serves those people that choose to live in University residences, or catch its offerings while in a campus building. A generous estimate of that group's size is 8,000. Consequently, less than half of the people involved or associated with the University have access to what one would think would be a vital source of information about the University. According to sources within both the UA and the television station, UTV13 has repeatedly asked the University to assist its efforts to access a channel on Wade Cable. The demand for such service, considering the number of off-campus residents, is comparable if not equal to that provided for other Philadelphia schools. So why has the University shuffled these requests aside? The answer may not be clear until one reviews other accounts provided by the same sources. Apparently, CNN recently offered Penn a free uplink to its news services in Atlanta. The offer had nothing Penn-specific about it; CNN offers this service to about 150 high school and university television stations under the condition that these stations provide free services to CNN in the event of stories on campus deserving national attention. Examples might include?oh, things like the theft of 14,000 DP's two years ago. Or the Red-and-the-Broke firestorm. Or the White Women that Might Be Against Racism. Get the drift? CBS has already picked up the good Penn news about Jerome Allen. CNN would probably be more interested in broadcasting a speech by Alan Kors criticizing the University's treatment of the water buffalo case. If you followed the coverage of the water buffalo case in the Wall Street Journal or the Lisa Topol story in Time, you might understand how national notoriety of this kind could cause trustees and other Penn VIP's to quake in their loafers. The man who might shake the most is Provost Stanley Chodorow. This was the University official that several students remembered as saying that effectiveness was more important than justice in the design of a new student judicial charter. Chodorow denied the statement as an obvious misquote by the DP representative that is permitted to sit in on University Council meetings. UTV13 has repeatedly and unsuccessfully lobbied Provost Chodorow and President Judith Rodin for its own seat in these meetings. It only seems fair that University media access to the Council's deliberations should not be the privilege of only one form of that media, especially when University officials can shrug off controversial statements as misquotes. What excuse could they offer if UTV13 caught them on tape? Wade Cable remains one channel poorer because of the University's fear of negative publicity. Never mind that such negative publicity might be honest. Never mind that this failure to connect Penn to the larger Philadelphia community opens yet another chasm between the city and the University that once considered surrounding itself with a wall. UTV13 sources note that although administrators think a UTV13 slot on Wade is a "great idea," it's not a great idea now. According to the same sources, Penn Vice President for Government, Community, and Public Affairs Carol Scheman "doesn't quite know what Penn should do with the community." No kidding. If this is the cause for delay, don't expect to see UTV13 on cable anytime soon. Within the University, the absence of UTV13 off-campus further fragments an already polarized student community. Like the DP and Penn Basketball, UTV13 is one of the precious few things that could give the Penn community some unifying identity within the vibrant Philadelphia environs. The students managing the station are willing to take on this task, which could leave a mark that would significantly improve the lives of future Penn generations. Nothing frustrates them more in their endeavor save a few administrators driven by petty motivations or mired in community problems that should have been solved years ago. I'll be honest. If my broken remote had to choose between Baywatch and UTV13's Firing Line?well, ask a BBB major for the answer to that one. Yet the absence of this choice is what hurts most of all. Regardless of whether I want it, why can't I have my UTV13?