Trail of Quad shit leads to Eisenlohr

The "Mad Shitter" will not shit anymore. Instead, she will be kept on a very tight leash. Last night, Assistant Dean in Residence Diane Koros confirmed that a residential advisor apprehended the Mad Shitter in the third-floor female bathroom in Warwick in the Quadrangle. When College junior and Quad Residential Advisor Christopher Robbins walked into the bathroom, University President Judith Rodin's family dog, Butterfinger, was sitting happily next to a pile of feces in one of the shower stalls, wagging her tail. "I didn't know it was the president's dog," said Robbins, who caught the perpetrator red-pawed. "I wasn't really sure what it was -- or what it was doing." This capture comes after months of incidents involving piled and smeared feces on the floors and walls of female bathrooms in the Community House section of the Quad. Robbins said a female student on his hallway came to him last night, saying that she smelled the feces. Calling him "you big strong man, you," the woman begged Robbins to take a look. "My experiences with The Red and Blue have taught me I have to face challenges head on," he said, adding that he wondered why Butterfinger had escaped from Eisenlohr -- the president's traditional home. "Judy can't even control her dog -- how can she control the University?" he asked. Rodin's son, Alex Neijelow, said he had been unable to keep Butterfinger on the property of Eisenlohr because the dog is so big. But Rodin said the absence of a house manager at Eisenlohr has wreaked havoc in her home since there is no one to care for her dog or children.