IVY ROUNDUP: PRINCETON; Princeton's Shapiro will step down from presidency

Princeton University President Harold Shapiro is stepping down, Princeton spokesperson Harris Preston III said last night. He added that he was especially unhappy with the Princeton Tigers' poor athletic performance this year. "Before the basketball season, I was just toying with the idea of leaving," he said. "But now that they have lost the Ivy title to those damn Quakers three years in a row, there's no way I can continue representing these losers. I mean, basketball used to be the one good thing about this place, and without that ? well, let's just say I see no reason to stick around." Princeton basketball coach Pete Carril said he did not see any reason for Shapiro to leave. "He's being completely unreasonable," Carril said. "We are just in a slump right now. It's not our fault that the Quakers are better than us." Preston said Princeton has not officially decided upon a replacement yet, but hinted that they are seriously considering model, actress and Princeton alumna Brooke Shields for the position. "She would be perfect for the school's image," he said. "And the best part is that she doesn't care about how much our basketball team sucks." -- Lippy