LIFESTYLE SIDEBAR:

A Survival Guide for Leaving School Seniors, you've got approximately eight months and 9,001 questions to wade through before your undergraduate careers vanish in a sea of flat hats and long-winded speeches. Why, with all of this still in store, does it seem that everyone's anxious to take you out of the academic oven before you're fully cooked? Why does the title "senior" prevent you from carrying on a conversation about something other than your life plans? Despair no longer. With a few evasive tactics and some clever maneuvering you can resume what was once your everyday existence of underclassman bliss. Option #1: Wear your high school letterman's jacket around and walk in groups of 20 people or more. No one will guess you're a senior. Option #2: Respond to all questions with, "I'll kill you, I swear I will." Follow through if necessary. Option #3: Brag that your GPA was so good you'll be starting with a salary of $1 million at Goldman, Golds and Gould. Don't mention that you're an English major and lying through your teeth. Option #4: Announce that after your rejection from the Peace Corps, you have rethought your career plans and decided to join the Death's Head terrorist organization. Option #5: Following the marketing success of the Hershey Kiss and the new Hershey Hug, tell that you are planning to promote your latest idea in the bite-sized chocolate affection family: the Hershey Hookup. Option #6: Stop, drop and roll. Keep rolling. Option #7: Avoid human contact by getting a dog that's big, has big teeth and walks really quickly. Option #8: Resort back to old grade school adages. Say things like, "That's for me to know and you to find out," and "that's none of your beeswax" -- it works better than a kooties shot. Option #9: Suck it up and quit your whining. You're 21 years old; cut the chord.