COLUMN: "The Wrath of Quad"

From David Chun's "The World According To Dave," Fall '92 John Masefield · Like the captain of a ship, Resident Advisors in the Quadrangle have difficult roles to play, navigating in the sea of freshmen. These fifty brave captains are hired to operate in "gray areas" that no university administrators dare venture. They are trained and prepared to walk the tightrope between disciplinarian and peer counselor. As RAs, they must build a community, make lasting friendships and inspire confidence. But at the same time, they must also discipline troublemakers and enforce university policies. And like all captains, they are ultimately responsible for the social and physical well-being of their 30-plus shipmates. Unfortunately, most of the RA's time is monopolized by immature freshmen who create problems for the Quad Community. Instead of using the RA as a valuable resource to enhance their experience at Penn, these immature freshmen often force these captains to take a permanent disciplinarian role. But instead of describing the duality of the RAs function in intricate detail, here is an excerpt from the Community House Duty Log of a typical Saturday. Incidentally, these are actual, unembellished, just-slightly-edited log entries. RAs are required to read all previous entries made by other RAs in their house. So we often lace the actual events with sarcasm and humor to break the monotony. Resident Advisor On Duty's Log Stardate 9.27.92 Saturday, 9:00 a.m. -- Relieve the RA on duty (RAOD) from Friday's shift. A simple greeting and a gentle smile. 9:30 a.m. -- Surprised to discover that the fire extinguishers are mysteriously stockpiling on the 4th floor of McIlhenny. Inform the RA on the 4th floor that they are now fire-proof. 10:26 a.m. -- Beeped by the Quad desk to locate a missing cart. Refrain from laughing and comply. Make a note to complain to the Assistant Dean about the RA job description. 11:03 a.m. -- Beeped by the Quad desk again to check for a bathroom flood on the 3rd floor of Thomas Penn. Rushed to discover that the 3rd floor should be renamed Atlantis. 12:00 p.m. -- Brunch/"Personal Access Code" Program. Wake up all the lemmings on the floor and feed them. Explain to them that there are two PAC codes. The birthday PAC is used for PARIS, and the unrelated six digits PAC is used for Penntrex. 12:42 p.m. -- Console a student on the tragic loss of her pet hamster by Residential Maintenance mouse trap. 5:00 p.m. -- Transfer keys, beeper, and duty log to the RA in 135 Rodney of Spruce Street for a dinner break. Discover that it is heavily raining outside and cancel the break. 7:20 p.m. -- Explain to a freshman that Quaker Notes is an all-female a cappella group, not a recycled breakfast cereal at Stouffer. 8:00 p.m. -- Develop floor bonding by playing cards with the boys of McIlhenny 252. Realize that they have no mercy for their friendly RA. 8:45 p.m. -- Explain to the Sam Malone of McIlhenny's second floor that if you pollute the pond, you kill all the fish. 9:00 p.m. -- Manhunt begins for the vandals that ripped down all the signs. The vandals safely escape to the unrenovated Quad, which is beyond our jurisdiction. 10:00 p.m. -- Discover a freshman redecorating the halls with the fire extinguisher. Explain to him that Physical Plant is the only licensed interior decorator in the Quad. 11:45 p.m. -- Discover a local Anheuser-Busch Bottling and Distribution Site in 246 McIlhenny. Explain to the residents/agents of Anheuser-Busch that they need a liquor license to operate in Pennsylvania Sunday, 12:25 AM -- Stop a heavy metal concert in 269 Warwick. Explain to the residents the concept of "Quiet Hours." Elaborate that quiet hours does not mean that everyone quiets down just for you to have a concert. 3:00 a.m. -- Like clockwork, a nudist colony again forms on the 2nd floor of McIlhenny. Walked out of the door and screamed with my hands up, "Cease and disperse!" Amazingly, it worked. 9:00 a.m. -- After surviving the Wrath of Quad, I am relieved by the Sunday RAOD. We gently smile and walk by like two ships that pass in the night. End of Log. · The point here is not that some of the freshmen are immature, Residential Maintenance is slow and inefficient, and Resident Advisors are overworked and underpaid. The lesson to be learned here is that the Resident Advisors are valuable resources for the freshman experience. As Dr. Matthew Santirocco, the Senior Faculty Resident in Butcher/Speakman/Class of '28, is often quoted saying, "Use me! Use me! Use me!" These captains are chosen from a large pool of very qualified applicants. They all share one very important quality -- the altruistic desire to help others. So the freshmen should get to know their RAs. They are trained and eager to help you in every human way possible. A simple "hello" in the morning is a good place to start. But at the same time, respect your RAs and their rules. No RAs like to play the disciplinarian. And always remember: "Damnit, Jim! I'm an RA, not a babysitter!" David Chun is a junior Political Science and Psychology major from Miami, Florida. "The World According To Dave" appears alternate Thursdays.

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