Sometimes, there are just no words.
Summing up the experiences of sprint football’s championship season is not a feasible task, but these past few months were so magical, so unprecedented, so perfect, that I owe it to my squad to try.
First off, the hunger this team had was unlike anything I’d ever seen before.
Sports Editor-elect Jonathan Pollack:
For me, the best part of Penn Athletics this year was sprint football winning its first outright CSFL title since 2000, so the best moment should come from that season.
It just keeps getting better.
Just a few weeks removed from Penn sprint football's first outright Collegiate Sprint Football League title since 2000, senior quarterback Mike McCurdy was named league MVP for the second straight season.
And then there was one.
On Saturday, Penn completed the dream season, defeating Post 41-12. The win gave Penn (7-0) the outright championship, and marked only the second time in school history that the Quakers have finished the season alone at the top of the standings.
If there’s one thing Penn Sprint Football hates, it’s sharing.
They’ve been lightweight football national champions five times in the last eighty years – and shared the title four of them.
I have never won anything in my entire life.
Let’s back up a second. First, some background: This loser is a back up quarterback for Penn sprint football.
Penn sprint football is back on top.
With a 27-20 double overtime win over Cornell on Friday, the Quakers clinched at least a share of the Collegiate Sprint Football League title for the first time since 2010.
The season might not be over, but one thing is clear. Up until this point, Penn has been the best team in the Collegiate Sprint Football League.
Looking to play spoiler to Penn’s championship pursuit, Chestnut Hill came ready to throw everything they had at the Quakers.
In order for Penn to have a shot at the College Sprint Football League title, they had to beat one of the service academies, something they haven't done since 2010.
And just two weeks into their season, they've done just that.
Much like the stature of the players, the sphere of recruitment is much smaller for Penn sprint football than with many other sports.
Since the team largely eschews the nationwide recruiting effort of many other Penn teams, most players hail from the metropolitan Philadelphia and South Jersey area.
The Quakers made a statement on Saturday, but returned home needed to ask themselves some questions.
Opening the year on the road against Mansfield, Penn sprint football cruised to a 31-7 win but was dealt a heavy blow when sophomore running back Max Jones went down in the fourth quarter with a broken ankle.
“Mike isn’t even here tonight — he’s president of an a cappella group — he’s gotta audition people, he’s doing that and he can throw the ball 60 yards.”
Sometimes your quarterback has to miss practice because of injury.
“Safety School! Safety School! Safety School!”
The year is 2007. I am a brazen and beautifully snarky middle school student sitting with a group of 10 friends at Jadwin Gym for a Princeton-Penn men’s basketball game.
Chaz Augustini is still playing varsity football at a Division 1 school. But this year, it's a bit different.
Augustini, a wide receiver, will have an entirely new setting when he lines up for the Quakers this Saturday.
Last Monday, Princeton announced that it was discontinuing its long-beleaguered sprint football team, effective immediately.
Better late than never.
For Penn Athletics, the timeless idiom has never been more true, as several transfer students have found their respective ways to 33rd Street and quickly made an impact on the Quakers’ athletic program.
Bill Wagner, who has headed Penn’s sprint football program for the past forty-five years, has coached thousands of players during his time in Franklin Field.
Technically, two teams stepped on Franklin Field to play a game of sprint football. Based on the final score, however, only one actually showed up.
There might not be much left at stake, but there is still plenty to play for.
After being eliminated from CSFL championship contention in last week's double overtime lose to Army West Point, the Penn sprint football team (4-2) looks to reset and finish the season on a high note against rival Princeton (0-6) in the season finale this Friday.