Sometimes I wonder whether I'm killing Judaism.
"Every time you intermarry you are killing the Jewish people." This is how one Holocaust survivor chose to end her speech to an audience I was in last year at Yad Vashem, the Holocaust-remembrance museum in Jerusalem. I suppose that woman would have looked at me, the product of an interfaith marriage, and seen an empty space where a real Jewish child could have been - one that would date Jewish girls, marry one and mass-produce Jewish babies.
This woman's comments were somewhat jarring for the many interfaith children in the audience, including me. They would have been equally controversial if presented to the large Jewish population here at Penn, regardless of parentage.
Now, more than ever, American Jews are a religious and ethnic minority trying to preserve their traditions in the face of assimilation. Of the many demographic concerns facing a shrinking American Jewry, intermarriage is tantamount.
I learned more about these issues in a conversation I had a week ago as part of the Jewish Renaissance Program, a student dialogue group mediated by the acting director of Penn Hillel, Rabbi Michael Uram.
Uram's presentation cited data from the 2001 National Jewish Population Survey, which helped me explain the basis of the aforementioned Holocaust survivor's accusation.
The NJPS reported that between 1996 and 2001 47 percent of Jews married a non-Jew. It also noted that 74 percent of Jews with intermarried parents also intermarried.
This poses a problem because, across the board, from lighting Shabbat candles to attending a synagogue, intermarried Jews report weaker connections to Judaism and lower levels of Jewish involvement. Only 33 percent of children of intermarriages are being raised Jewish, according to the study.
The data clearly demonstrates that Jewish intermarriage is damaging to the perpetuation of American Jewry. The question that remains in my mind is "Do I care?" The fact that I date non-Jews and do not prioritize marrying a Jewish woman would suggest to some that I don't.
I don't seem to be in the minority either. The NJPS reports that zero percent of Jewish college students with only one Jewish parent date "only Jewish woman" and 59 percent say it is "not important at all" for them to marry a Jew.
Though I am not willing to change my dating practices or marriage ideals, I am still invested in Judaism. Some branches of Judaism view marrying a practicing Jew as critical to supporting a Jewish household, but everyone has a different idea of what it means to be Jewish.
The Jewish community needs to approach this issue inclusively. The way to keep Jews in the community is to stop accusing those who choose to marry outside of it of "killing the Jewish people."
The mission of Hillel is to embrace inclusivity. All Jews are welcome at Hillel, whether or not they are kosher, heterosexual or dream of a Jewish wedding. This tolerance is present in the fact that, for example, "there is no policy that you can't sit in Hillel library and eat a cheeseburger," said Uram.
While many Jews still wouldn't feel comfortable doing this, this is an admirable stance.
"We respect the fact that every student is on a journey and our mission is to help them on that journey, not to provide them with an endpoint," explained Uram. This progressive approach to Judaism has transformative potential.
Tolerance stands to increase Jewish involvement and participation. Students with any level of Jewish exposure can come to understand and connect with Judaism in an individually unique and meaningful way.
Jews who are comfortable being Jewish in their own way will likely pass their heritage down to their children. From this perspective there is no reason why intermarriage should automatically preclude Jews from maintaining their traditions.
Whether or not my wife is a Jew, I want to remain Jewish and teach my children about Judaism. If we are rebuffed by the Jewish community, however, we may just become just another statistic.
Yuri Castano is a College sophomore from Mexico City, Mexico. His e-mail address is castano@dailypennsylvanian.com. Bringing the n Back appears on Wednesdays.
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