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The Theos Google Group is Public, Part 1

(10/22/13 3:44am)

Call it UTB After Dark, but we like to get a little naughty when it's late in the evening. Thanks to a savvy tipster, UTB has learned that everyone's favorite ~underground~ frat $tar$ have forgotten to make their listserv group private. We secured the link, blurred out the identifiers, and present them below. Take note: it's pretty expensive to be this eloquent. Click 'em to enlarge 'em.   And one for the road...




Mano-a-Mano: Does Penn football's nonconference slate matter?

(09/20/13 3:29am)

Sports Editor John Phillips: I remember starting out as a football beat last year, watching Penn lose to Lafayette and Villanova. The Quakers went 0-for their entire non-conference slate and I couldn't help but think that they didn't have themselves together. What I didn't see is that coach Al Bagnoli and his team think of the nonconference slate essentially as the preseason.



Here's Some Data About The UA.

(03/14/13 3:15pm)

Some political efficacy to start off your Thursday: presented with minimal comment, here's this table from a UA insider, which shows various statistics about the work of the incumbent UA representatives in the last year, including the number of projects each member actually completed. The data is culled from meeting minutes, which are public information. Click the image for a larger view.







12 Ways To Make The Best Of Perelman Money

(02/05/13 8:17pm)

The Perelmans strike again! Ronald Perelman recently made a $25 million dollar donation to create the Ronald O. Perelman Center for Political Science and Economics,  a soon-to-be home for the PolySci and Econ departments. Wo0ho0. Amy G. must be thrilled. But what about the rest of us?  Let's step back and take a glance at where that money could be going: Rename the Medical School again for another $225 million, this time the RON Perelman School. Free shuttle service to DRL. An Italian food food truck (We're talkin’ penne ala vodka, ravioli, chicken parm—the works. WHY DO WE NOT HAVE AN ITALIAN FOOD FOOD TRUCK?) New APES house. We're sure you feel bad they got kicked off of campus, too. A jacket for the copy-of-the-paper girl who thought it was springgtime when she left her room this morning to hand out the DP. Compensation for all the stolen Houston food. Beyonce for Spring Fling. Ke$ha for Spring Fling. Molly included. Shower heads (that don't scream) in the college houses. Balsamic vinaigrette in McClelland -- because nothing is worse than having to put questionable oil and vinegar on your already questionable salad. Computers that only College kids can access. Or Engineering. Or Nursing. A new Math and Physics building that has no association with David Rittenhouse or laboratories. 




12 Best Meal Deals: Fall Finals

(12/06/12 7:15pm)

[Disclaimer: This post was part of our Joke Day series. Didn't the font tip you off?] We all know how the 'Finals' story goes: There once was a glutton who performed gluttony for about two weeks and then got a B-. That being said, campus restaurants capitalize on our gluttonocity by giving us meal deals that just can't be tamed, so our UTB contribz took it upon themselves to seek out the best final exams deals that simply can't be passed up. You're welcome.


Who's Thanking Whom? An Investigative Report

(11/22/12 6:22pm)

Gobble gobble and such, it's Sangskeebing, y'all! We're thankful that it's finally time to put on a nice chunky sweater for granny and shove a Wawa Gobbler down our gullets before waking up at 3 a.m. to grab a "Are you 18+? Then you can Tickle-Me-Elmo" at the local WalMart. Yum-o! But enough about us; what about the rest of campus? We asked some of our favorite people and groups around campus what they were thankful for, and here's what we found: