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At Tap House, A New Way To Figure Out Why You're This Hungover

...And no, it is not a Breathalyzer or the smell of vomit emanating from the bathroom!

Police Seize $1.2 Million Of Weed From Former Football Player Near Campus

The Inquirer reports that police arrested a former Penn football player on Wednesday evening and seized $1.2 million of  marijuana he grew in a building behind 4100 Spruce. Travis Roesler, 27, (Class of '06 grad according to Facebook) runs a martial arts studio in the building's first floor, and was apparently also cultivating a hydroponic plant business upstairs.

Cream And Sugar, It's Been Invaded By Muppets!

A tipster sent us a photo of this sign outside Cream & Sugar, which closed early today "due to a recent invasion of MUPPETS!" Oh right, just a routine invasion of muppets.

One Whartonite Did Find A Job And The NYT Wrote About It

The job market! It's pretty awful out there--but maybe not as bad as last year? According to an article in Tuesday's New York Times biz section, "This spring’s college graduates face better job prospects than the dismal environment encountered by last year’s grads."

You Can Now Be Conflict Free On Penn In Touch

First we had updates to BlackBoard, AirPennNet--and today, a new feature on Penn InTouch. The new search option allows you to "Find only courses that fit," so you can browse for classes that fit into your schedule. It's a nice addition that should spare you some of that irritating "oh this would be a great course let me see if it fits into my schedule, ugh it conflicts with my writing seminar" feeling.

If You're A PC, AirPennNet Hates You

There's more in computing news today. In addition to an odd BlackBoard upgrade, the good people at Penn Computing have informed us this morning that AirPennNet is due for an upgrade on Monday, May 24. Mac users need not worry, as Apple systems will reconfigure themselves automatically. Those of the PC persuasion will have to download some things here.

I Think It's Fly When The Girls (And Boys) Stop By For The Summer

After a grueling application process (think OCR, but worse), I'm glad to present our motley crew of Summer staff writers. Meet Adrian Pelliccia, Hannah McDonnell, Ian Bussard, Kelly Diamond and Morgan Finkelstein. Be nice! (Commenters, I'm looking at you.)

Left Bank Wine Bar Will Be Called Biba

As we told you about a while back, a new wine bar is going in at 3131 Walnut (right next to Picnic in the Left Bank building). It's going to be called Biba.

Ridiculousness Behind The Scenes At The College Graduation

Some of our graduating pals sent over photo evidence of the highlights of tonight's College of Arts and Sciences graduation. Enjoy.

The Commencement Will Be Tweeted

CSI: Van Pelt

Why was there caution tape in Van Pelt last night? Strangely enough, we've sort of seen this before.

City Tap House Is Open For Business

After a long time coming, the Radian's beer-centric restaurant, City Tap House, is now open. Friends who are done with finals and thus have time to kick back beers (ew, hate you) have told us the spot had a soft opening on Saturday night, with things now fully up and running. Those who checked it out said the food was awesome, but pricey. We'll be by later in the week with a full report.

Satan Loves You, Penn

We know the floors of Huntsman may seem like the seven circles of Hell, but it's not that bad here, is it? We've seen these "Satan Loves UPenn" stickers all over campus and we don't know what they are. Are they:

The Whole World Wants To Reserve A Room in VP

Everyone loves to laugh at funny Google search suggestions, but you freaks are all probably too busy reserving rooms in Van Pelt to be bothered by Internet memes. For reasons we wish we could explain, Google's first suggestion for "reserve a" is "reserve a table van pelt." We find this half disturbing, half awesome.

Bradley Cooper In The House

For your exam week dose of celebrity news: tipsters say they've spotted Bradley Cooper by City Hall. Sources tell us Cooper is in Philly filming The Dark Fields with Robert DeNiro. Cooper is hot, but we want DeNiro pics!

Need A Summer Sublet? Must Speak Chinese

We thought we'd seen it all when it comes to Rosengarten bathroom stalls. But then we found this in the Ladies' room.

Phi Sig Officially Shutting Down

According to a press release from Phi Sigma Sigma's national HQ, Penn's chapter of the sorority will be calling it quits at the end of this school year. The release cites "recruitment concerns and other challenges to success at this time" as grounds for closure. Panhel will be adding a new sorority next year, which was going to be a "ninth," but we presume will now be another "eighth." For the whole story, and an interview with the Phi Sig chapter president Jasmine Saxton-Mariah, see the DP article here.

Princeton Frat Bros Pee On The Button

In an article from yesterday's Daily Princetonian detailing fraternity hazing, we came across the following: "One senior, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, recalled his experience rushing Alpha Epsilon Pi, explaining that pledges were required to make trips to Philadelphia, where they had to complete tasks like peeing on the University of Pennsylvania’s famed “Split Button” sculpture.." Boys, you're peeing on the wrong sculpture.

Spring PSA: Goodbyes And Hellos!

And look at that. Here we are again, in that crossroads of Reading Days, another semester closer to real life.

Joe Biden To Speak At Social Policy & Practice Graduation

Penn announced  today that Vice President Joe Biden will speak at the Commencement for the School of Social Policy & Practice’s on Monday, May 17, at 7 p.m. in Irvine Auditorium.