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There Is Now A Journalism Minor

In case you still believe there is a future for journalism (ha, ha - what up, job market!), the English department is now offering a minor in the journalistic pursuits!

Owen Thomas' Autopsy Shows Signs Of Disease

The Daily Pennsylvanian and New York Times report that an autopsy performed on Owen Thomas revealed that the Penn football player had an early form of a disease that could possibly be linked to his suicide in April. As the DP explains, "The autopsy showed early stages of chronic traumatic encephalopathy, which has been found in over 20 deceased National Football League players. Thomas’ case is the first to be confirmed in a non-NFL player, and Thomas is the youngest known football player to develop the disease." The story is receiving national attention because of its implications for the sport and safety. Thomas' family said they chose to release the information to raise awareness and encourage education about the dangers of head injuries.

Now At MarBar: Free Ping Pong

Things that sound dangerous when consumed together at MarBar: $1 Kamikaze shots and Free Ping Pong. MarBar, which has not been popular with Penn folk since circa 2007, may be making a comeback.

Campus Apartments Dude Scores 'New York Times' Piece

In today's Jobs sections of the New York Times, David Adelman tells the story of how he became the CEO of Campus Apartments. Obviously, obviously, Adelman got his entry into the company when he invested his Bar Mitzvah money in the company. It's a charming story really: " "Two years later, I gave Alan $2,000, my bar mitzvah money, to invest for me. He used it to help buy a building for off-campus student housing near the University of Pennsylvania. I probably had less than a 1 percent stake. Eventually I went to work for him. He’s chairman of the company now, and we still have that apartment building." It certainly takes some interesting foresight to invest your Bar Mitzvah money anywhere, and given the rent Campus Apartments charges, we have to imagine the investment yielded a good return.

Edible Updates: Gia Gets Bacon And Lots Of Salad News

Foodies, listen up. While we were away for the summer, lots of new spots opened up. There's now a juice truck and another coffee truck, a BBQ joint is under construction, and wine bar Biba should be opening any day now.

Power's Out At FroGro -- Registers are therefore not working. This would also probably be the wrong day to try their new sushi bar.

Under The Button Enters A New Era

Greetings friends old and new! We're back at full posting speed today, so send your tips, and visit often.

Seniors, Get Your Free Fix Today

Having an "oh crap it's senior year and oh shit classes start tomorrow" moment? So are we. If you think Smokes is getting a bit lenient with its entry policy (what the hell!), today's a chance to truly surround yourself with your senior peers.

The Penn Reading Project Is About Poop This Year

The Penn Reading Project seminars, during which freshmen sit in rooms talking about a book they were supposed to but probably didn't read, is happening today. Normally, we'd just be like, whatever, b-o-r-i-n-g, except, well. How do we say this? This year's book is about toilets.

We Gettin' Ourselves A Makeover -- Surprise! We've been working hard on redesigning the site and it's finally ready! We're very excited! We're in the process of switching it over and smoothing things out, so don't hate if things look a little funky for the next day or so. We'll give you a full tour when things are up and running properly.

Biba To Open Next Week

Biba To Open Next Week -- Biba, the wine bar by the folks from Tria on 30th and Walnut will soft launch in the middle of next week, according to a source. Andddd we're salivating.

Bloomers Alum To Join 'SNL'

Penn alums, living the dream, yet again. This time, it doesn't even involve hedge funds or competing on a Bravo reality show about art or anything! Rather, Vanessa Bayer '04, is joining the cast of Saturday Night Live. Since being the Director of Bloomers, Penn's female comedy group/Mask and Wig rival, Vanessa has spent time at Second City in Chicago, a well-known SNL feeder. Anyway, legit! We look forward to watching.

Penn Drops To #5 In US News Rankings

It's that time of year, weirdos who drool over meaningless college rankings! Penn has dropped one spot to number 5 in U.S. News and World Report's much-awaited Best Colleges 2011. Harvard, Princeton and Yale predictably retained the top triumvirate (in the same respective order as 2010), while Columbia usurped dear ol' Penn for the number 4 slot we held on to in 2010.

Abdi Wins 'Work Of Art'

Everybody freak out! (It's okay, we already know you are!) Last night, Penn '09 grad Abdi Farah won Bravo's Work of Art. The show had many excited Penn devotees, though as one former UTB editor noted, "the shocking oversight is that he wasn't on cultural elite '08!"

Food Truck Watch: There Is Now A SMOOTHIE TRUCK

As dedicated readers will know, we here at UTB take extreme delight in covering the opening of new food trucks in the Penn hood. Today, we present you with news of the newly opened La Vie Natural Juice and Smoothie.

Hell Yes, Bubble House Is Turning Into A BBQ Joint

Woohoo! Reports have surfaced that the Sansom Street spot formerly occupied by Bubble House will be taken over by Baby Blues, a BBQ restaurant. The menu (from a California branch) looks excellent. The restaurant hopes to open by the end of the year (ha, yeah right).

Hey There, Freshmen -- 10 Things You Shouldn't Bring To College, Even If You Think You Should

Want To Work For Us?

Believe it or not, NSO is fast approaching, which means...we need to get our shit together.

Claire Klieger Is Going To Zimbabwe!

But don't worry, she will be back! Career Services guru/Queen of Your Inbox Claire Klieger mentioned in an email today that she will be going to Zimbabwe! What do you think she is doing there?!?!

It's Raining Men

Actually, it's just raining water. But a lot of it! From 38th and Spruce.