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Fratsutawney Phil Sees Shadow, Predicts Six More Weeks of Pledging

(02/02/17 6:08pm)

Groundhog Day is a tradition dating back as far as 1841, according to Wikipedia, and an affair which provided the basis for the popular 1993 film Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray. Punxsutawney Phil, a groundhog (replaced often) from Punxsutawney, PA is treated as a meteorologist. Generally, he is expected to predict whether winter will continue for six weeks or spring will come early. 




Engineering Student Wins Guinness World Record for Most Consecutive Times Crossing the Street Without Checking for Oncoming Traffic

(01/30/17 9:48pm)

When Engineering student Mitchell Zhao, Class of 2018, left his dorm this chilly morning in a thin cotton t-shirt, sweatpants, and a pair of flip flops, a Guinness World Record was the last thing on his mind. He was preoccupied: he had a CIS assignment due, among other things, and had only consumed three Red Bulls since he woke up. Mitchell didn't pay any mind to traffic as he crossed 34th Street without looking to either side.


Tiffany Trump Is Registered to Vote in Two States

(01/26/17 12:11am)

Notable Penn grad Tiffany Trump, daughter of notable Penn grad Donald Trump (best known for being President), is registered to vote in both N.Y. and P.A. This doesn't seem particularly bad, because it isn't a crime, but Donald Trump disagrees. This very morning, he tweeted that he would be asking for a "major investigation into VOTER FRAUD, including those registered to vote in two states". Really.




About Time: Penn is Building a Sound-Proof 'Yelling Room' in VP

(01/19/17 9:34pm)

Van Pelt is not exactly a comfortable place, but the library is about to get a whole lot more student-friendly. Penn has announced plans to construct a sound-proofed room on the first floor on Van Pelt. Taking the place of periodicals, which had previously inhabited the area, the room is designed to provide students a private, intimate place to yell, scream, sob, or make a throaty "ughhhhh" sound in despair.


Obama to Grant Clemency to Lorenzo Bonfiglio During Final Days in Office

(01/18/17 8:49pm)

Yesterday, the DP reported that alleged Castle arsonist Lorenzo Bonfiglio was given probation after pleading guilty to two charges: recklessly endangering another person, and criminal mischief — tampering with property. This marks the ostensible ending to a long legal process, in which Bonfiglio's preliminary and pretrial hearings were pushed back at least nine times and his 22 original charges were dropped to two.



Rush Conversation Starters

(01/12/17 9:00pm)

It's sorority rush season, which is really just one big blur of black Canada Goose jackets, the phrase "we were just talking about", and the song "Sorry" by Justin Bieber. All conversations begin with "wow it's so cold/warm outside!", lead to "oh you're undecided? it's okay, you have so much time!" and end with "my coat is the black one with fur". We're here to tell you that it doesn't have to be that way. Here are some rush conversation starters that will 100% get you a bid*:









UTB Joins The Hallowed Ranks Of 297K Twitter Accounts Followed By The Mindy Project

(12/08/16 9:39pm)

Last night, UTB finally received the coveted @TheMindyProject follow on Twitter dot com. One of only 297,000 accounts (it was 293,000 when we took the screenshot but they followed 4,000 more people overnight and we used up our weekly screenshot allowance) followed by whatever unpaid intern runs @TheMindyProject, UTB is finally getting the recognition it deserves as a major influencer on social media.