COLUMN: Not at Penn for the Parties
as parties provide limited opportunity for meaningful social interaction. Penn's party scene sucks. If you're a pre-frosh, read that first line again, and let it sink into your head. If you're an undergrad or alumnus, well, I hope I can get you to reconsider whatever your views are regarding this subject. Just keep an open mind, please, and read on. Once again, Penn's party scene sucks. No, it doesn't suck because the LCE (under orders from the administration) massively cracked down on Spring Fling this year. It doesn't suck because Locust Walk isn't the party epicenter it supposedly once was. And it certainly doesn't suck because of a hokey "Bring Your Own Beer" policy. Penn's party scene simply sucks for what it is -- or at least what my impression of it has been: Paying five bucks to drink alcohol and dance to loud (usually techno) music. Now for most Penn students, it seems, this is perfectly fine. In fact, I'm sure many folks would vehemently disagree with me and say that since I don't drink, there's no way I can enjoy Penn's party scene. You know what? They're absolutely right. Since my mind wasn't clouded by alcohol at the various parties I went to during my freshman year, I feel reasonably qualified to make a sober assessment of the "party" scene. And boy, does it suck. For one, parties afford little opportunity for social interaction. I don't mean throwing up on others or hooking up with members of the opposite sex you normally wouldn't touch with a stick. I'm talking about having meaningful conversation and making lasting friendships -- these things simply don't happen at parties, at which the music is often deafening and the alcohol buzzing. Even though I don't drink, I do not feel socially deprived. I have become very good friends with several people from my Quad hall, and I have met many interesting individuals through the various activities in which I participate and in my classes. I am not friends with anyone I met at a party. Second, parties offer precious little besides kegs. Sheesh, it's practically impossible to find food (and I don't mean Jell-O shots). And forget about soda -- unless you're going to Pi Lam, you'd better stop at Wawa or Uni-Mart. If I'm paying five bucks not to drink, can't I at least get a Coke? Yeah, in my dreams. That's about it. I'm just a regular (albeit non-drinking) student making observations on and generally venting my frustrations with Penn's party scene. I don't care if the administration calls in five or 500 LCE agents for Fling. I don't care if Locust Walk isn't what it used to be. But if one person chooses to hang out (even drink) with friends on a Saturday night instead of going to an idiotic party, then this column will have been a success. And if someone decides that he/she has a better chance of making friends in a club or activity than at a party, then I'll be perfectly satisfied. However, if this essay's readers merely scoff at the notion of criticizing Penn's party scene for reasons other than the usual, then I will sigh and shake my head. I enjoy being at Penn, both for the academics and the friends I have made. But after I affirmed a few months ago to all but avoid parties, I am more comfortable with myself. That includes the extra five-dollar bills in my pocket.