Our daily newsletter rounding up all of the top headlines from the DP. Get it Monday-Friday in your inbox. Free.
Sign up »
34th Street Magazine's "Toast" is a semi-weekly newsletter with the latest on Penn's campus culture and arts scene. Delivered Monday-Wednesday-Friday. Free.
Sign up »
Penn, Unbuttoned is Penn's only intentionally satirical newsletter, giving you your weekly dose of comedy from Under the Button every Wednesday. Free.
Sign up »
Quaker Nation is a weekly sports newsletter covering all things Penn sports. Delivered Monday mornings to your inbox. Free.
Sign up »
Recruiter's Row is a biweekly recruitment newsletter that keeps you up-to-date on all things employment related. Get it in your inbox every other Wednesday. Free.
Sign up »
I've already signed up
Below are your search results. You can also try a Basic Search.
One hundred and sixteen days until graduation. Pretty soon I'll be packing up my college life and starting anew as a "real person." It's finally time for me to pass on the torch. Exciting changes are coming, and I'm back for one last post before I let this blog sow its wild oats without me. So follow along on this short adventure and maybe you'll learn a thing or two about Under The Button.
[Disclaimer: This post was part of our Joke Day series. Our logo was Button the Under for a whole day and you didn't even notice.] For those of you who are still fiddling with your schedules for next semester, a new graduate course just opened up on Penn InTouch with limited spots for undergrads. Permits are required for this course through the Political Science Department, Department of Religious Studies, and History Department. Yes, undergrads need all three departments to sign off on their permits before enrolling in this course on Jewish and Presidential Thought. According to our sources, no permits have yet been completed. Let the mayhem begin.
Finals are a time of adderall, acne, and, apparently, aphrodisiac-itude. This [unconfirmed] Penn student is getting his (or her) XXX Cinema Studies on in Van Pelt in broad daylight. Seriously kid, wtf? For those of you who want to watch porn on a VP computer in an open study lounge, don't. You'll end up on YouTube, just like this genius.
Did you know there was a University of Pennsylvania Youtube channel? Now you do. This 30-second thriller evokes the "Ooh!"s and "Ah!"s from prospective students far and wide, but it's only one small piece of the puzzle. You can watch cool as shit science. Or this baby calf's first steps at Penn Vet (seriously so adorable). Or Amy Gutmann moderating a panel (less adorable). In any case, go spend an hour selfishly sifting through the videos in hopes of finding yourself.
In light of someone's big 6-4, we'd like to take you back to a feature that we so vehemently miss. Did you know Amy Gutmann loves dogs? Capogiro? Basketball? Probably not, considering we've not been keeping you up-to-date on our President's most trivial affairs.
Looks like SPEC is trying its best to not be hated by the student body [again] by launching a super simple survey in order to solicit ideas from the wonderful student body that is you. This survey is really very simple. You tell them your name, your email, and your choice for a headliner and opener, then BAM: you look like a fool cuz you really don't have a choice. Well, you could...but no. Yes. No.
The Class Board of '15 is selling the 2015 Classic Ivy Sweatshirt, and it's just as expensive as sweatshirts from classes past! Order now through Sunday, November 11th, and your $33 investment might just get you looking like your $exy class board pictured above (no promises). Editor's note: Do not dry your sweatshirt.
Send photos of your costumes to tips@underthebutton.com if you want to be Halloween-famous. Some day next week, we'll post the best costumes. That night, UTB After Dark will post the most heinous and outrageous costumes, so prepare ye. Photos of yourself, your friends, and Penn students you don't know are all fair game. Magic is really very simple. All you've got to do is want something, and then let yourself have it.
The SPEC Fall 2013 concert is coming and we have the scoop (see title). Little Daylight will be opening for The Neighbourhood in Harrison Auditorium on November 15th at 8 p.m. Tickets are available on the SPEC website starting today.
Carriage Senior Society -- is accepting applications from seniors and you don't even have to get tapped. It's like, fair or something. Follow the link for smoker and application info.
Former Penn student and ultimate frisbee captain Octavia Payne is pictured here in Time Magazine during peak levitation. Payne plays for a D.C. ultimate club, but she also just participated in the 2013 USA Ultimate World Games as a member of the U.S. team. For more info, we found her LinkedIn.
Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, AKA the decider, will be at Penn from Oct. 2nd to Oct. 4th as the inaugural guest of the Law School's Visiting Jurist Program. For lack of a better knowledge of Illustrator, we've managed to turn Anthony Kennedy into a dazzling spectrum of patriotism. The red in his face really complements his white collar and blue tie, don't you think? Check out The DP for more info and a better picture.
We get it. It's Monday and you're not happy. The last thing you want to see is this bitch -> Gaping smile. Hideous turtle neck. Pig tails. The truth is, if you look deep into those dead eyes, you can see the misery that most of us here at Penn put ourselves through: club overcommitment (COC). This weekly feature is a reminder of our commitment to misery. And you're in luck! There's a lot going on this week, so read more after the jump. The misery got to us.
Unfortunately, this is not a joke. Fortunately, we decided not to post a photo of urine on the Wawa sales floor.
See that tip box off to the right? Yeah, you see it. You're eyeing it. It's eyeing you. "Feed me," it says. "Feed me gossip. Feed me trouble." Our tip box is blind, so you can send us juicy knowledge all day and all night with the sexy power of anonymity. GO.
Do you have what it takes to write for UTB? Email franklin@underthebutton.com by midnight on Friday 9/13 with a 5-page letter to the editor to apply. Jk just say "Hey I want an app" and you should be good.
He used to be wed to Demi Moore, he looks epic in bellbottoms, he played Steve Jobs in a recent biopic, and he is some kind of sultan of practical jokes...
We get it. You're just not involved enough. You're looking for a change. You want to explore other disciplines. You want to have as many leadership positions as you can, despite the fact that you hate leading people.
Looks like Professor Matthew Hersch, instructor of the popular class "The Information Age," won't be giving extra credit to those who twerk for him during office hours. Rude.
That's right. It's hap(PENN)ing. NSO is officially underway and we're one blur-of-an-academic-year away from reaching May. Keeping that in mind, ahem seniors, this NSO season should be a time to play with our new kittens before classes bitch slap their entire faces, respectively. That's why we've come up with a few way(s) to have your own re-introduction to campus. Thursday, August 22 Freshmen: Move-in. Time to make bffs with your roomie and hall-mates. Prepare to never talk to them again after this year. Upperclassmen: $3 dollar cover and $1 drinks 9pm-12am at Blarney. It's the first night of NSO, so pace yourselves accordingly (aka die, in the metaphorical, blackout sense). Friday, August 23 Freshmen: Penn Library Social 9pm-11pm & PennFest 11pm-1am Upperclassmen: A re-introduction to Smokes. We hear the renovations over the summer are spectacular. Saturday, August 24 Freshmen: Safe Living 11am-1pm, 1:30pm-3pm & Philadelphia Art Museum Party 6:30pm-9:30pm Upperclassmen: Relax, get brunch, then do something cla$$y downtown. Then go to Smokes (again). Sunday, August 25 Freshmen: Toga Party 9pm-11pm Upperclassmen: It's Sunday, so Church. Then play Capture The Toga. Try to accumulate as many togas as you can in one night. Hanky-panky is not only acceptable, but encouraged. Monday, August 26 Freshmen: Penn Life Sketches 11:30am-1pm, 1:30pm-3pm Upperclassmen: Millcreek Monday! All you can drink custom tap domestic beers AND all-you-can-eat wings, 8pm-10pm, $14 Tuesday, August 27 Freshman: Last day before your life is over. Jk. Not really. Convocation 7pm-8:15pm followed by Amy’s Dessert Party 8:15pm- 9:15pm Upperclassmen: Taco Tuesday at Drinkers, then crash the dessert party* *The dessert party is the only time it's okay to BYOT-- bring your own Tupperware. Wednesday, August 28 Everyone: Copa Wednesday: Cure your hangovers with half-priced burgers from 11:30am-5pm. Happy Syllabus day!