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OP-ED: Is It Just Me, or Are Grapes Really Expensive?

(11/11/17 7:02am)

Hello world, it’s me. I know a lot of crazy things are going on in this beautiful, dark, twisted fantasy we puny, ephemeral beings call life. Some good, a lot kinda suckish. So, I get it. You’re probably pretty busy right now. But I need to tell you about something. Something that people are not talking about. Something I find really, really important.


'Oh Yeah, I Love Weed,' Says Guy Smoking Wrong End of Joint

(11/11/17 6:58am)

Standing in a circle with people he just met that night, College freshman Gary Carr gripped a joint between his middle and ring fingers and pressed the lit end against his lips. “Ah, marijuana is great,” Carr professed. “Ouch! Better let this one cool down though!” he laughed, immediately reaching for some of the aloe he keeps in his back pocket.



Checked-Out Senior Openly Shoots up Heroin in Writing Seminar

(11/10/17 3:00pm)

College senior Jeremy Stein is no normal slouch. No, this senior doesn't just doze off like your typical checked-out fourth-year would while his Writing Seminar professor explains (for the fifth time) the correct sequence of a mid-semester portfolio—instead, he spends class time injecting heroin into his arm, and has been for the past three weeks.





OP-ED: If There Are Two Amazon Headquarters, Are They Horcruxes?

(11/09/17 4:25am)

Ever since Amazon announced that it was looking for a city to host their second headquarters, people have been going crazy trying to get their city selected. Philadelphia is no exception — Amy Gutmann has been working with city officials and various groups on campus to woo the company and convince Amazon to settle down in the city of brotherly love.






Sustainability Win! This Girl Only Wears Clothes She Stole from Her Roommate

(11/09/17 4:14am)

With stronger storms like hurricane Harvey and Hurricane Maria occurring with increased frequency due to rising ocean temperatures, it is clear the threat of global warming is imminent. As President Trump and the Republican Party take a decidedly passive, if not regressive, stance toward environmental policy, America’s ability to help mitigate climate change has been left up to individual communities and actors.


OP-ED: I'm Socially Liberal, Fiscally Conservative, and a Bagel Purist

(11/08/17 5:13pm)

I’m tired of trying to hide who I am. The hyper-liberal pressure at Penn has created a political environment that’s incredibly toxic for people like me. To dissent is to risk social alienation and an entire college career of chalking my opinion on Locust. I’ve decided that my days of hiding my true political beliefs are through.