With the University beefing up security in the days leading up to Fling, we at The Daily Pennsylvanian decided to see if we could pull off what many Quadrangle residents doubtless spent hours trying to accomplish -- sneak alcohol into the Quad.
We decided to publically parade our results only after the conclusion of the weekend.
We didn't want to ruin Fling for everyone on campus.
Armed with two bottles -- a standard-sized 750-milliliter bottle of Absolut Raspberri and a 1.75-liter handle of Banker's Club Vodka -- I decided to test my luck.
But so as not to get arrested if I failed at my task, I swapped the vodka in favor of water.
I began my quest with the safest and most painful of tactics: securely fastening the Absolut Raspberri to my leg with packaging tape.
As anticipated, the security guard had no suspicions. In fact, if it were not for the attention I received from a group standing beside me, he would have not even checked my bag.
Conclusion: At the expense of a few leg hairs, you can get vodka into the Quad without a problem -- especially if you own a pair of baggy pants.
My next plan of action was to throw a handle of Banker's Club Vodka -- the perennial favorite of Penn students -- over the fence in the uppermost section of the Quad, commonly referred to as the Nipple.
That plan became infinitely easier when I realized that the fence is wide enough to simply pass the handle through. With no security anywhere in sight, I could have passed as many bottles as I needed for the upcoming weekend.
However, I was not the only one with this idea. A group of students decided to utilize that same fence for a similar purpose -- handing across several brown bags full of what most likely were not water-filled bottles.
Making the fence narrower in the future would do little, as I proved that it is also fairly easy to throw the handle over it.
In the process of throwing the handle over, I encountered a faculty member who resides in the upper Quad. To my amusement, vodka handle in hand, my blatant display of alcohol earned me a verbal warning. But she let me keep the drink.
Lastly, I decided to see if I could just carry the bottle of Absolut into the Quad in my bookbag.
The two Spectaguards on duty in the lower quad were nice, but they checked bookbags rather quickly. Sneaking the bottle in was as easy as stuffing it behind some books.
Then I had a crazy idea. Would they get suspicious if I went out of the Quad and re-entered a couple minutes later? Having bought an egg roll, I returned with the bottle still in place. This time, however, the nice security guard recognized me and barely even looked into my bag.
So the final tally for my adventure: Alex Dubilet -- 5; Quad security -- 0. I was left to wonder what the final score was between inventive Penn undergraduates as a whole and Penn security.
