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Where to hide your alcohol when the nightmare scenario occurs of your parents visiting last minute.

Credit: Carson Kahoe

You’ve made your bed, put your clothes away, and even swept the floor. Everything seems to be in its place for when your parents arrive, but when you get the call that they’re at the Quad gates, you realize you forgot one thing… Where to stash that final swig of Bacardi?

1. In your roommate’s stuff. You can’t help it that you’re a responsible young adult living with someone so immature.

2. In your sock drawer. Everybody knows the underwear drawer is too obvious.

3. In your laundry hamper. Who would want to go through your dirty clothes? Bonus: if it leaks a little, last night’s outfit was probably already soaked in alcohol.

4. In your desk drawer, under the textbooks. Your parents probably didn’t come visit in order to brush up on their molecular biology or calculus.

5. In your trash can. It’s where such a vile substance belongs anyways, and it’s probably for the best. Just kidding — take it out as soon as the fam leaves, and take your trash out too.

6. In with your toiletries. Nobody’s going to want to shower, especially not in that tiny stall.

7. Consume it. All of it.

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