*This story appeared in the 2011 Joke Issue.

Monday night, Governor Tom Corbett (R-Pa.) announced his plans to the state legislature to provide a stimulus package for Penn’s Student Activities Council.

Earlier this year, SAC instituted a temporary moratorium preventing new student groups from receiving recognition and funding due to SAC’s precarious financial situation.

Although the Undergraduate Assembly’s 2011-2012 budget will allocate $931,292 to SAC, figures from the Office of Student Affairs show that SAC’s reserve fund — which stood at $103,837 when the moratorium was instituted — is currently $931,148 in debt.

Although SAC’s 2011-2012 budget would provide sufficient funds to completely eradicate the debt, “it would leave less than a sufficient amount of money to fund the student groups we support,” College junior and SAC chairman Vinay Rao said.

The residual funds, which would amount to $152, “would leave us with enough money to buy Amy Gutmann a new red suit, three Insomnia cookies and Rebecca Black’s dignity,” Rao said. “And that’s not sustainable.”

The UA, unable to reallocate the finalized $2 million budget, reached out to Ed Rendell, former Pennsylvania governor and 1965 College graduate, for governmental assistance.

Although Rendell reminded UA representatives that he was no longer governor, he offered to discuss it with Corbett and state legislators.

“A lively extracurricular career is just as important as a robust academic one,” Rendell said.

He added that if he was still serving on the UA as he did from 1961-1965, “a funding crisis such as this would not have occurred.”

Corbett and state legislators found SAC’s funding crisis “compelling,” according to Rendell, and immediately set out to locate available funds.

“It is an unprecedented move by a state legislature, but honestly, I don’t know what we would of done,” Wharton sophomore and UA Budget Committee member Charlotte Gottinger said.

Corbett declined to comment about the exact amount of the stimulus package.

“Let’s just say that it will be enough for Penn students to be able to have fun, fun, fun and look forward to the weekend,” Corbett said.

Comments powered by Disqus

Please note All comments are eligible for publication in The Daily Pennsylvanian.