*This article appeared in the 2009 joke issue.
By VANILLA ICE Whigger Party Member iceicebaby@bigwhigs.org
Penn's prospects for an Ivy title are as bleak as they've ever been.
But its trophy shelf might just see some hardware come Grammy season.
Forward and emcee Justin Reilly (aka Yung Reezy) drops his debut album, "(Thug) Life of Reilly," today, and critics are calling it "an unequivocal triumph in the realm of unathletic, injury-prone white rappers taller than 6-foot-7."
Reilly - who performs with the Excelano Project, a spoken-word group on campus - made the move to hip-hop after dropping a series of successful mixtapes, including a remix on Lil Wayne's ubiquitous "A Milli" beat.
Yung Reezy has spent the past two years trying to put the Palestra back on the hip-hop map, working on "(Thug) Life" day and night, even missing out on mandatory team drills to put in time at the studio.
The album - which features cover art by forward Cam Lewis, an experienced abstract choke artist - chronicles the trials and tribulations of a low-major bench warmer trying to make it in the rap business.
In "Great White Nope," Yung Reezy taps into his struggles as an up-and-coming forward, channeling the frustration he experienced in practice.
"I can't help but frown, yo/How can I compete wit da brown folk/When a cracka can't get a look down low?"
It's this ability to conquer adversity and oppression that drives the album.
His bass-heavy single "And Then There Was Glen" lambastes the controversial Quakers coach Glen Miller and features an infectious verse by T.I.
But Reezy outshines his counterpart on this track, dropping lyrics like, "You're lookin' in the eyes of a cold-blooded killa/Rockin' fur coats, bitch - straight chinchilla/I always be hustlin', just not for Glen Milla."
Yung Reezy has exploded onto the map by striking a balance between gangsta rapper, marketable hip-hop commodity and lazy big man.
While he has displayed some talent with the mic in his hand, Reezy pulls no punches about his on-the-court skill set.
"End of Da Bench," his autotuned collaboration with R&B; artist T-Pain, is tailor-made for radio stardom, and features lyrical gems like, "I tell the haters to go to hell/Right after I take their girls to a hotel/No, I can't explain what I do well/Shit, I can't even beat out Brennan Votel!"
But in the end, "(Thug) Life" succeeds because of its relentless candor. Yung Reezy stays true to his persona as an overhyped recruit with an attitude problem.
The album's title track sums it up perfectly:
"You turkeys get in my way, I'm carvin' you up/Yeah, I'm hungry for a chance - I'm fuckin' starvin', son /But next year I'll probably be the backup for Garvin Hunt."
The Daily Pennsylvanian is an independent, student-run newspaper. Please consider making a donation to support the coverage that shapes the University. Your generosity ensures a future of strong journalism at Penn.
DonatePlease note All comments are eligible for publication in The Daily Pennsylvanian.
