On the Scene | Braving the slippery slope - in style | With Slideshow

MANAYUNK, Pa., Sept. 6 -

There are some things you see in life that you can be absolutely certain you will never witness again. Watching a 10-foot-tall papier mache woman give birth would qualify. So would seeing the King of Pop hurdle and flip at 40 miles per hour or hearing someone say, "No, I think the other cheesesteak mobile was faster."

If you were on hand for the Red Bull Soapbox Race at "The Wall" - the closest thing to a San Francisco hill that the Philadelphia area has - on Saturday, you could have crossed all three off your list.

The event, clearly, was a far cry from our parents' soapbox derbies. Thirty-seven teams (including the newborn-themed "Big Birtha," the "Cheesesteak Chariot" and "The Wizz Kids," the contest's eventual People's Choice winner) convened to compete for a spot in the Winner's Circle and in motor-less automobile lore.

The competitors were well aware that their finishing time on the 500-meter course often comes second to the other judging criteria - showmanship and creativity.

With the off-color short performances and semi-fictional personas created by the different teams, Red Bull has created a traveling spectacle that inspires a lust for crashes, boozing (one driver's post-race plans: "Get piss drunk") and other debauchery from its ample audience. Call it Wing Bowl on Wheels.

But this derby, the fourth ever and the first of four in 2008, will almost certainly stand out among all others. Manayunk, with its youthful populace and bevy of bars, was surely the perfect venue, but that's not what made this race memorable - the weather did.

The torrential downpour that stemmed from Hurricane Hanna drenched the spectators and the course, making for a more treacherous path to the finish line and perhaps a more restless crowd.

"With all the rain, the cardboard got soaked, the front end pulled up and at that point I couldn't see anything," said Kirk Marshall, the driver for "Bank On It," a car outfitted like a stack of cash. "It was just driving blind. And unfortunately my blind steering's not so hot."

That's when the proverbial dollar bottomed out, crashing and eliciting roars from the crowd.

While a high top speed can garner impressed oohs and ahs, the fans are won over by two things: carnage and comedy.

"Bank On It" certainly delivered on the former. But "Feel the Rhythm, Feel the Rhyme" - comprising four white college students imitating the Jamaican bobsled from "Cool Runnings" - truly hit its comedic stride.

After a top-notch skit, the team's craft was proven to be utterly un-seaworthy in the wet conditions, giving under its own weight within a few dozen yards of the start. But in light of the film they sought to mimic, the foursome carried the car across the finish line, eliciting whoops and cheers.

"You gotta finish everything you start, my man," driver Pat Dougherty said.

Amid the sheets of rain, however, emerged the derby's perfect storm.

Will Thiel, of team "Deuces Wild," threw on a gut-busting impression of Michael Jackson and stood on the back of an oversized stroller while teammate Eric Gemme manned the wheel. The performance alone could have been good enough for a spot on the podium, but what followed locked up the first place trophy.

"We're going down the hill faster and faster, I start saying 'Brakes, brakes,' but nothing happened at all. So we come around the corner, and we're heading straight down the hill I'm like, 'Well that was successful,'" Thiel said.

"So I just kept waving and kept waving, and then I realized it was too late, that were gonna have a high-speed collision and something was wrong.

"So when we hit, I don't know what happened because I just closed my eyes. I just said 'Well, we'll see how badly I'm injured.'"

Fortunately, even after the helmet-scraping front-flip, Thiel emerged unscathed and with the judges displaying 10's across the board. In fact, he was well enough to let his alter-ego comment on the situation.

"I think this is the beginning of the next stage of my career," he said in his Jacko lilt. "I think that was a good way to introduce it with some of my new moves."

But on a day where the amount of absurdity was trumped only by the amount of Miller Lite, it took some time to take in what exactly transpired.

"I'm still not quite sure what just happened," said 19-year-old-Jessica Rubinstein, the co-pilot of Bank On It. "I'm kind of digesting it all."

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Photos by Toby Hicks, Anna Cororaton and Andrew Gardner

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