I'm going to admit it: Princeton was almost my first choice when I applied to college. And for my first few months at Penn - when things sometimes got a little overwhelming - I wondered what it would be like had I made my home-away-from-home patrician New Jersey.
Well, we may not have fancy fratern ... eating clubs, an all-white graduating class or Dr. Gregory House here. Life in West Philly is a little simpler and a lot less pretentious.
But now, almost two years later, I think I understand what it's like to be a Tiger.
What it's like to score 30 points in a game.
What it's like to lose to Cornell and Columbia in the same weekend.
What it's like to have an RPI that begins with the number 3 (and no, it's not in the 30s).
Frankly, it sucks, and now I empathize with what you've been through in the last few years.
So I will make this promise: Princeton, I won't make fun of you tonight. I won't compare Lincoln Gunn to an excretory orifice. I won't join in the "Hey!" song after we win 46-32.
And in return for keeping my promise, all I ask of you is to be as good as we will become in a couple years.
Some (okay, all) Quakers' fans may recoil in horror at this deal with the devil. But I assure you it's all done with good reason.
That "good reason?"
All of this year's pain has made me realize how much the whole Ivy League needs Penn and Princeton, and how much we need each other.
Penn-Cornell, Penn-Brown, Penn-Columbia . they just don't have the same ring to it. Like Sherlock Holmes has Moriarty and Spiderman has Doctor Octopus, Penn has Princeton.
More than that, everyone needs us to lead the way, because we both know that we're the only teams that matter. Nobody will care when Cornell wins this season. ESPN doesn't broadcast Dartmouth-Yale games. Not even Yale's TV station broadcasts Dartmouth-Yale games.
And think anyone up in Boston will pick their heads up from their clam chowder when the radio says that Tommy Amaker has snagged another top recruit, thanks to Harvard's introduction of athletic scholarsh - erm, I mean, new financial aid policies?
Nope.
Sadly, we're both languishing near the bottom of the league this season. But at least we're doing it together.
That's always how it's been done. It makes me a little teary-eyed, when I'm at the Palestra and I look up at all of our Ivy League championship banners and know that Princeton was right behind us almost every year.
The two P's, finishing one-and-two. Win and place. That's how it should be done. Together. So let's all make an effort to get better.
How about we start it tonight, eh? And what better way to do so than with a Penn win. Because, let's face it: You guys really suck and nobody cares when you win.
Brandon Moyse is a sophomore mathematics major from Montreal, Canada, and is Senior Sports Editor of The Daily Pennsylvanian. His email address is bmoyse@dailypennsylvanian.com.
