BALA CYNWYD, Pa.
Don't let anyone ever tell you 6:30 a.m. is too early for pierogies.
They aren't your typical breakfast fare, but Matt Viereck and John McGinnis had likely put away more of the Polish potato dumplings before dawn than the entire city of Warsaw does in a day.
"I think it's the earliest I've ever ate 'em," McGinnis said.
This pair of Philadelphians didn't try to put away two pounds of potatoey goodness in three minutes for their health. With this challenge - aptly named the "Pol Off" - both were trying to earn a bid for the qualifying round to the 2008 Wing Bowl. The world's premier wing-eating competition - Philly's de facto Gluttony Games - takes place at the Wachovia Center on Feb. 1, the Friday before Super Bowl Sunday.
WIP Sports Radio's Angelo Cataldi and the Morning Team offered an open challenge for competitors to come into the studio and vie for a bid, allowing prospective wingers to create their own challenge. If they like it, they invite you to the studio.
Yesterday's head-to-head featured the hefty Viereck (dubbed "The Polish Hammer"), who made it past the first round but was trounced in the Wing-Off (the qualifying round for the Wing Bowl) last year. He brought with him a foursome of bikini-clad "Wingettes."
The challenger was the untested and compact McGinnis, whose blandness earned him the nickname "Boring John."
In Philadelphia fashion, the undersized underdog came out on top. The Hammer came out fast, but Boring John's methodical approach helped him catch the incumbent, and he put away all but two of his fried pierogies in the three-minute span.
Viereck couldn't handle his boiled dumplings, leaving four on the plate even though they were doused with hot butter and he was given a 12-second head start.
"It was a tough loss," he said.
"I thought I was gonna get a little more time," he added. "Sitting there scrambling, holding on too long, I couldn't get it down quick enough."
Boring John's fate wasn't sealed in regulation, however, as he was left with two pierogies on the plate. An executive decision by co-host Al "The Commish" Morganti decreed that Viekert and McGinnis could get bids if they downed their remaining pierogies in ten seconds.
The catch? Someone in the studio had to scarf down one of them.
The Hammer's most petite groupie, Anne Williams, swallowed hers whole - "I almost choked on it," she said - but couldn't compensate for the big man.
"The Polish Hammer is a disaster," Cataldi said. "He's a man with big goals and a small stomach. He can't get it done."
Boring John, however, opted for Daily Pennsylvanian photographer Rebeca Martinez, a five-foot-one College sophomore with about 100 pounds on her frame.
Not exactly fly-on-the-wall journalism, but she devoured her way into WIP lore and put McGinnis in the Wing Bowl.
"I was definitely impressed," he said. "I thought the way she was [talking] she wasn't gonna be able to eat it. [But] I looked at her, and it was out of her hands."
With the fall of the heralded Hammer, the rise of the Northeast's own Boring John marks a win for the layman.
A shot at reigning Wing Bowl champ Joey Chestnut looms after the official qualifying, and McGinnis now has more than just a few pounds of pierogies on his plate. He has to form a scantily-clad entourage, steel himself mentally and maybe expand that stomach a bit.
So how about it, Boring John - got anything to say after the victory?
"Nope."
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