Rafael Nadal, consider yourself challenged.
Nadal may be the best in the world on clay, but Barney Tanfield, the assistant pro at the Racquet Club of Philadelphia on 16th Street, thinks he might have a harder time on the unforgiving slate of court tennis.
"If you brought Nadal in the court tennis court, he would get absolutely smoked," Tanfield said. "Not even close."
Philadelphia is home to one of just 10 court tennis - or for the Brits out there, "real tennis" - court. They consist of a number of eccentric angles, complicated markers and even slanted roofs that are within the boundaries, called penthouses.
And for those of you who thought Nadal already was a real tennis player, you need to get your archaic-European sports history straight.
Court tennis, which used to involve smacking a ball with a gloved hand, became a racquet game in the 16th century in France and England.
While the two-sided court, dividing net and highlighter-green ball are reminiscent of lawn tennis - what the court-tennis folks call Nadal's game - this sport is really more akin to squash. Not only is it played in an enclosed box with ample walls to crash into, but the balls are much denser than regular tennis balls, making for a game requiring a good deal of precision, anticipation and a healthy dose of backspin.
"The complexity of this game in the strokes and the rules and in the history - lawn tennis, no question, evolved from this game," said Tanfield, who learned the game as a teenager. "It is the real tennis."
While the Racquet Club only has about 130 players coming in and out of its sizable fourth-floor court, Rob Whitehouse, the club's athletic director, says it's the premier pipeline for Yankee court-tennis players.
The Racquet Club not only provides court time and coaching, but also seeks out local racket-sport players to pass the game on to.
"Any American, good player went through this program," Whitehouse said.
Whitehouse, who, like Tanfield, grew up in the Philadelphia area and learned court tennis after leaving squash, says he is hovering around No. 25 in the world, even at 38.
And the small court-tennis following that exists on this side of the pond would love to see its sport proliferate.
"It'd be great if more people knew about it; it's that much fun," Whitehouse said. "Any player that's new that comes in, they get hook, line and sinker from the get-go. It's amazing."
But besides sheer unfamiliarity, court tennis faces numerous barriers to entry into the American recreational-sport scene. A high-quality court may cost upwards of $1 million, but even lower-maintenance concrete courts may cost about $400,000.
There is also a tinge of elitism in the sport that doesn't pervade in Europe, where several public courts have been constructed and, Whitehouse said, is likely known to most native pub-crawlers.
At the Racquet Club, for instance, the marble floors, oriental rugs and crystal stemware provide an atmosphere that doesn't exactly encourage accessibility.
Tanfield, however, has some optimism when it comes to expanding court tennis in the States. He thinks it would require a precise approach.
"Generally speaking, you have to have the right ambassadors traveling around and showing [people] the game, bringing them to existing courts to play," Tanfield said.
It's an effort whose jumping-off point could easily take place right here in Philadelphia, perhaps built around the Racquet Club. Such an effort might not be forthcoming, or even possible, but Philadelphia's court-tennis mavens are happy just to have been introduced to the game.
"Without a doubt," Whitehouse said, "the best game I've ever played."
