This article appeared in the 2006 joke issue
Talk about a dramatic turn of events.
On Jan. 7, 2005, Irina Malinovskaya was just your average fifth-year Wharton senior from Russia. The next day, she was an accused bludgeoness.
Malinovskaya, 23, was charged with beating her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend to death with a blunt object.
Malinovskaya spoke to The Daily Pennsylvanian from the Baylor Women's Correctional Institution in New Castle, Del., where she is being held.
According to Malinoskaya, a Rostov-on-Don, Russia, native, her 14-month jail stay has been surprisingly pleasant.
"All the people here are really nice," Malinovskaya said. "I must say that I did not expect them to be so erudite and well-read."
Indeed, the mild-mannered Malinovskaya seems to have become quite popular with her fellow inmates, and the weekly reading group she started to discuss selections from 19th century British poetry regularly draw crowds of as many as 30 people.
"I feel as though Victorian poetry has a deep relevance to our lives here in prison, but I'm delighted by the reaction my reading group has received," Malinovskaya said.
She added that she is disappointed that her recent trial ended with a hung jury, believing she would have been acquitted if only her lawyer, Eugene Maurer, had been able to keep apparently self-incriminating statements out of the trial.
The defense had argued that Malinovskaya was misled to speak with investigators and make these statements because she did not fully understand her rights and had a shaky grasp of the English language.
"As you can surely tell from our conversation, I simply do not have an adequate comprehension of the English language to reply to questioning," Malinovskaya said. "After all, everyone knows that most Wharton students are functionally illiterate."
Not all news is positive for the alleged bludgeoness, however.
Rumors circulate around the facility that Malinovskaya's meek demeanor cloaks the heart of a vicious killer and that she has quickly become the ringleader of the prison's internal Russian Mafia.
Malinovskaya denies these allegations as baseless.
"Look at me. Do I look like that type of person?" she said. "Could I take a hammer and ferociously attack someone, beating them to a pulp and leaving them lying in a pool of their own blood to be found by their jerk of a boyfriend? Of course not."
