So much for this season.
With nothing left to play for except a measly winning record, it's hard to get excited about tomorrow's game against the Cornell Big Red.
After all, it is Cornell. The most exciting thing that's happened at Cornell lately is when eight people chained themselves to trees in a campus parking lot.
Melancholy or not, this year's game is still the 112th time the Quakes have taken on the Red, making the game our most historic rivalry. So historic, in fact, that it has its own prize -- the Trustees' Cup.
If you're wondering, the first time the squads faced off was way back in 1893, better known as the year Kokichi Mikimoto developed the method to create artificially cultured pearls.
So, we decided to call a man intimately acquainted with that first game -- Jacob Schurman, Canadian-born Dutchman and president of Cornell from 1892-1920.
As it turns out, President Schurman died in 1942, at the spritely age of 88.
Luckily, though, Jacob Schurman of San Francisco is still alive. In a serendipitous turn of events, our new friend Jake turned out to be the great-grandson of Cornell's second president. Unfortunately, Jake isn't much of a football fan. He's much more interested in another Ithaca institution -- Vernor's Ginger Soda.
"When I first discovered it, I got excited by it," Jake said of what some have called the "fizziest soda ever concocted."
But, while a student at Cornell himself, Jake fell out of love with the soda. He now considers Vernors "a kind of inferior ginger ale, a ginger ale without excitement." Jake soon found himself another ginger-flavored passion -- Hansen's Flavored Soda.
"When you learn that, this is wonderful, but that's even more wonderful, you have to just go to the more wonderful thing without even thinking about it."
On that note, let's go Brown.
Penn 46, Cornell 39
