Mom, Dad ... How did you get my screen name?

Upon settling into her room in the Quadrangle, College freshman Kira Campbell found herself staring at her computer screen at an instant message from a screen name she did not recognize.

It did not take her long to realize that the stranger asking her about her day was none other than her own mother.

"My parents got a screen name just to talk to me," Campbell said. "That's pretty crazy."

Since her parents are not especially computer-savvy, Campbell is not sure how her they knew how to instant message her. "I guess they figured it out on their own," she said with a laugh, noting that now she cannot put up any away messages with a more "controversial" nature.

Campbell's situation is hardly unique. Parents have likely had a hard time letting go of their children away at college since the founding of the earliest universities. But in the digital age parents have a much easier time keeping tabs on their children.

Some students do not seem to mind the added contact that technology can bring.

Garrett Bruer, an Engineering freshman, said that he and his family hold weekly video conferences via Web camera.

"Personally, I have no qualms with it," Bruer said. "I try to be understanding of the situation and fulfill their wishes."

Bruer said that, in addition to the weekly video conferences, he talks to his parents on the phone once or twice every day.

"I'm sure my mom likes it, considering she has a lot of adult friends who are concerned about their kids, and their kids don't call on a daily basis," Bruer said. "I really like to know what's going on at home. I love my parents, so I don't really have an issue with it."

Annamarie Daley, Bruer's mother, says she is grateful for her son's willingness to communicate often.

"My friends are envious because I hear from my son and they don't hear from their sons," Daley said.

She added that, thanks to the technology of Web cameras, Bruer was able to instantly show his dorm room and introduce his roommate to his father and 14-year-old sister in Minneapolis, almost 1,200 miles away.

As for having Bruer away from home, Daley admits it has been hard, but she added that the contact with her son has made it a little easier.

"It was tough the first week," Daley said. "He's the only one in the family that likes fresh pineapple, and I went to buy one at the store and realized it would be a waste."

On the opposite side of the spectrum from Bruer and his parents, College freshman Jeff Bryant said that he and parents have very different opinions about communication at college.

"My parents said that we should set up a time to talk every week," Bryant said. "And I thought, 'Maybe I'll just see you at Thanksgiving.'"

Campbell said she wishes that her parents would call less, noting that many times she simply does not answer her cell phone.

"My mom will call and I won't answer, and then two seconds later my dad will call, and I won't answer either," Campbell said. "Then all of the sudden I have all these voice-mails that are like, 'Kira, why aren't you answering your phone? Are you mad at us? Where are you?'"

Though they call often during the day, Campbell says her parents tend to leave her alone at night.

"They know I go out and party, but they are over it because they know they can't control it anymore," Campbell said. "Normally they are off my back at night."

Campbell, who is from California, is the first of her parents' two daughters to go off to college. She says that in addition to calling, her parents regularly e-mail.

"They send me pictures every few days and they forward me stupid e-mails I just don't read," Campbell said, laughing. "They get them from their friends, and I have no idea why they think I would be interested."

As the year progresses, Campbell said, she hopes that her parents will call less and less.

"It will probably take a while, but I think parents eventually get the point," she said.

University President Amy Gutmann said that she views students' parents as "part of our extended Penn family" and "welcomes parents as often as they'd like to come back."

As for parents of a more intense nature, Gutmann said that it is between students and their parents.

"Being a parent myself, I know it's hard to let go, but you just have to do that," Gutmann said. "Students have to deal with their parents in their own ways."

Gutmann has one daughter, Abigail, who spent her undergraduate years at Harvard University.

Daley said that while she and Bruer talk often, she is confident that he can mature on his own and added that she is not overbearing.

"College is a learning and growing time," Daley said. "If you try [as a parent] to exercise too much control, how can they learn and how can they grow?"

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