Though over 6 million people have bought into the idea that "men are from mars, women are from venus," Michael Kaufman is definitely one who has not. "My point, very contrary from the bestselling book [by author John Gray], is that we are not from different planets," Kaufman said. "We are not different species." In a lecture last night in Logan Hall, Kaufman, an author, educator and activist from Toronto discussed how to change societal expectations of the sexes in order to promote healthier relationships. Before an intimate audience of about 25 people, Kaufman presented his views on stereotyped gender roles and why they often lead to violence. "We live in a society based on an inequality between the sexes," Kaufman said. "Men are trained to wield power and be dominant, yet at the same time, they have insecurities about never feeling that [they] can live up to expectations." Analyzing men and masculinity, Kaufman said that males have traditionally been forced into a "suit of armor" that does not allow for public expression of emotions such as empathy and love. "This isn't a males-are-bad bit of analysis," Kaufman said. "The good thing about armor is that you can take it off." According to Kaufman, the idea that males are not supposed to cry or show fear leads to a repression of feelings. In turn, males tend to compensate by resorting to violence against women, through date rape, domestic abuse and sexual harassment. "The truth is that inside the suit, [males] are just flesh and blood," he said. "We are terrified that other men will see our vulnerability, that we will be discovered as not being 'real men.'" In order to combat this "epidemic," Kaufman urged a restructuring of today's patriarchal society -- for women to continue their already-started fight, and for men to join them. "This is about men taking responsibility for the privileges and power given to them," he said. "I don't have to feel guilty about being a man, but I do have to be responsible." Kaufman, an expert in gender issues, is also the founder and international director of the White Ribbon Campaign, an organization of men helping to end men's violence against women. Though Kaufman urged cooperation on the part of both sexes, most of Kaufman's speech was directed toward males being more active in changing the stereotype. He challenged males to talk about their feelings and to question why they are often forced to act a certain way. Those in attendance were generally pleased with Kaufman's assessment. "Gender and power issues can definitely be improved if we work together," said Mary D'Aiuto, a College of General Studies senior. And though only five men were present in the audience, they accepted Kaufman's suggestions. "I definitely agree with the idea that being a dominant, strong, insensitive male is not something to embrace," College and Engineering sophomore Zach Smith said. "Everyone should make an effort to make the world a more equal place."
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