I'm a girl with very simple ambitions. I just want to graduate from college, get a job that will pay my shoe bills and eventually meet a nice guy and settle down.
Well, there is just one little complication -- that nice guy needs to be a handsome prince.
I've wanted to be a princess since I was old enough to sing along to Sleeping Beauty, and I think I'd make a good one: I adore wearing evening dresses. I'm a sucker for fine diamonds. I love to be surrounded by throngs of screaming admirers.
And my wave? It's to die for.
For a long time I was a little worried about this particular ambition. It seems the number of available princes has really dwindled over the course of this century.
It used to be that you couldn't walk ten feet in Europe without spotting a prince. They were just hanging out all over the place and usually needed wives.
But now, with that whole democracy thing, a lot of countries no longer have royal families.
Thankfully, Great Britain has stubbornly clung to tradition.
For over the past few years, a total superstar has emerged among the Windsors. He combines the looks of a Backstreet Boy with the debonair charm of a young Cary Grant.
Couldn't you just grab Prince William and give him a hug? He is such a hottie!
Especially compared with Prince "Big Ears" Charles and his equally lame brothers, William is a mega-hunk.
The poor thing couldn't have a birthday party because he had to study for an art history exam. Isn't that so studious and adorable? He can wear a crown and read!
This eldest son of Charles and Di turned 18 this weekend amid media hoopla. Before he came of age the family had a deal with the press not to cover him except on formal occasions. But now, all bets are off.
Even with media restrictions, the blond-haired, blue-eyed, blue-blooded heartthrob has been featured in many a teen magazine recently.
British girls already swoon over the little prince and many American girls (like this one) do too.
Sadly, I'm not alone in my affection for the hunky future king. A little reconnaissance shows that I have many rivals for the heart of Wills (that's what we, his friends, call him).
There are dozens of Prince William websites that analyze the many facets of his remarkable life.
His name has been mentioned in connection with various British upper class girls.
For a while there was even a rumor that he and Brittney Spears were having an e-mail romance -- thankfully, that was a false alarm.
My love and devotion for the boy wonder is clear. But, can we ever be together?
"Why would he marry an obsessive psychopath?" say ye of little faith.
That's possibly somewhat true and perhaps a valid point. But I know that true love can overlook petty character flaws.
When I graduate I'll jet to merry old England and sneak my way into the royal family.
Maybe I'll become a maid in Buckingham Palace. Or maybe I'll disguise myself as a Spice Girl in a pink mini skirt and platform shoes.
If that doesn't work, I'll camp out on the grounds of his school and one day just spring out from behind the tennis courts.
Once Wills sees me, he'll fall madly in love and we'll live happily ever after. Just like in Cinderella and Snow White.
Hey, I didn't save the tiara from my second grade Halloween costume for nothing. I knew I would need it again some day.
Oh William, if only you knew how I pine for you! But soon, we will be together. Forever.
Of course, if that doesn't work out there is a younger brother, Harry. So what if I'm six years older than him? It takes years of experience to perfect one's wave.Comments powered by Disqus
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