Not just potty humor

This paper in KC/EH bathrooms is intended for reading, not wiping. It may not be fine literature. But ever since Phlush newsletters hit the bathroom stalls of Kings Court/English College House, residents have received an education while getting rid of constipation. Filled with trivia tidbits, mind-boggling statistics and other factoids, Phlush -- Penn's first and only "official bathroom reader" -- has attracted a loyal campus readership. The two-page flyer -- supported by the Perspectives in Humanities residential program -- is posted at eye-level on the backs of most stall doors so readers can glance at the information while taking care of their business. "It's a bathroom reader in the classical sense," explained Phlush editor and publisher Matthew Keesan, a College freshman who lives in Kings Court. "It may not be as rewarding as Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy, but it does make going to the bathroom more fun." Before publishing the issues each Sunday and Wednesday, Keesan scours books and the Internet for interesting facts, ridiculous quotes and enough articles full of random trivia to keep the Academic Demolition team occupied at least until the next issue. Readers get a chance to learn the kind of stuff that probably didn't appear on the SAT, such as: · Harvard University and Penn use "Yale" brand doorknobs. Yale University, on the other hand uses "Best" brand door locks. · Or that Mohammed is the most common name in the world. · Or even that the definition and epistemology of the word "deasil" -- from the Gaelic, it means something that rotates clockwise. And recently, Keesan has become something of a critic -- or a health department official. A new section in Phlush reviews the quality and sanitation of the toilet stalls in King's Court/English House. "I rate all the bathrooms from the crappiest to the best," Keesan explained. "Those that have pee on the floor, paper on the seats and smell are the worst. The best smell wintery fresh." Keesan began publishing Phlush after he found that going to the bathroom was not as enjoyable as it used to be. "When I was little, I would bring in picture books, comic books and novels," the freshman said. "But when I got to Penn and I sat down on the toilet there was no graffiti and nothing to read at all." "I was convinced there were legions of closet bathroom readers out there," he added. Keesan was right. Not long after he taped the first issues of Phlush to the bathroom stalls on his hall, a buzz began to spread throughout KC/EH. With House Dean Krimo Bokreta's permission, Keesan expanded circulation to every men's and women's room in the college house. "It's so funny since it is random," said College senior Tommy Perides, who has been reading the newsletter for a little over a month. "You don't have to bring Sports Illustrated anymore." "I love it," Engineering freshman An Lam added. "It's the best thing to come into existence since toilet paper." Keesan quickly became identified around campus as the "guy who writes Phlush." And when visitors to the house found they enjoyed the added entertainment in the bathroom, they began taking copies of Phlush back to other Penn residences, including the Quadrangle. Keesan said he plans to take his publication to other restrooms on campus. He said he has written to the deans of every college house to see if they are interested in subscribing to his living-learning initiative. And he even has plans to take the toilet material online. But for now, at least one important campus restroom remains without Keesan's publication. When asked if he contacted University President Judith Rodin's College Hall office about subscribing, Keesan said he was working on it.

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