JOKE ISSUE/LETTERS: Jeff Davis would love Fiore

To the Editor: Like myself, Mr. Fiore obviously understands the necessity of a segregated, class-based society where only the strong can survive and the weak must die. He sees that as citizens of America, we are responsible for our own well-being and should not feel as if we need to help others -- especially those damn [use your imagination]. So bravo I say. And Mr. Fiore, if you're ever in Louisiana, let's have dinner. If you don't get lynched first. David Duke Grand Wizard Damned Commies To the Editor: We are not "chairpersons." We are men, manly men, American men. For the love of Gawd, how many chairwomen do you know? The word is chairman and we'd thank you damn pinkos to use it. Chaz Howard Chairman United Minorities Council Bill Conway Chairman Undergraduate Assembly Alan Greenspan Chairman Federal Reserve Board Damned Commies, II To the Editor: As a part-time member of the University community, I feel I would be living in sin if I did not point out that The Daily Pennsylvanian is being run by nothing less than a pack of heathenous Jewish whoremongers, whose only motives are to put forth blasphemy about alcohol and to sponsor a magazine that encourages fornication. There are three things I hate: Communists, Jewish Communists and Damn Jewish Communists. Jesus loves you but I sure as hell don't. I have the utmost confidence every member of the editorial board will end up in hell and burn in a blazing FIIIIIIIIIRRRREE!!! Brother Stephen Beloved Lamb of God Late for St. Paddy's Day To the Editor: As I sit hearre, drinking my 18th beiee;r and rereadinga' THe DAirhgly Pennsylvaniar'n's articliesh; aboaut the new andao "I"M[roved" alcoaihiol polaicy, I tahought I would writie ina and elat Ju;day and her' littl'ea friened Barcahi knopw ezxactly what'[ I athiank of theirf stupid policy: I dioah't care. I lok;e drikniin.g Thai';ght's whay I cam[e to PEhn -- forh the alcoaho8l culturew. Annda more than'e dirnklagking, I .klaiek to do lotes of darugs. So CHEERSS judy! R.U. O'Kidding Wharton '00 Consult this To the Editor: Attention all undergraduate students. I realize that many of you are a bit upset with my latest decision, reached without your consultation. I am obviously referring to my decision to make Penn's campus a dry campus. As you all know, I have always and will continue to seek student consultation prior to any decision I might take, as was the case this time. Whether or not I put any consideration into your "consultation," should it be truly seeked, is irrelevant. Realistically, and let's be honest here, I act by my own views irrespective of the actual opinions of students. As usual, should any of you wish to contact me to express any opinions or concerns, please e-mail me at: IDONTCAREWHATSTUDENTSTHINK@pobox.upenn.edu. Jen Baldino Judith Rodin University President Welcome to America To the Editor: I am writing for behalf of teacher assistings at University of Pennsylvania, college being where I and some are teach American youth. I hold here article saying as that I English not speak so glorious perfection. Is not so. I am three years on this side of "big puddle" and have learning much good way as you speak, but my students is say that as I no speak English. Why students do disagree like me how speaking I am, puzzled. Half do not show up yesterday, and is very difficult to teaching class. Hoping is that DP will explain this to students. Joe Smith College TA