QUAKER OATS: Monday, November 9, 1998

ON they rolled to the College of New Jersey and the new tiger home of a bad football team. Not used to more than five people, said college had trouble passing all the people around its wide expanses of land with little roads, especially those who lean left. HARVARD this must have been, as no PU students could be found in the stands. Meanwhile Not That took his unkosher meal to his free seat, next to Manhattan Transfer, 90210 and the newly found Three Packs, now Lost Boy, who had been camped out overnight waiting for the fun to begin. GOALPOSTS chanted the drunkards behind the stands, as the protection officers had no hope of stopping the onrushing crowd. As the ballers celebrated their victory, Sammy rushed to get some shots, while the rest descended the luscious elevator to head from tape recorder city. ARE we done with this? No, the fun was just beginning, as the Lost Boy had not played his most devious trick. Turning 15 minutes into 90, Lost Boy could not find the gate. There was one gate, but Lost Boy found another magic gate, the gate no one has ever heard of. Rip Van drove his borrowed red wagon, while Not That looked around and Sammy found burger royalty tasted quite well. COMING upon us quickly was both night and rain, yet there was no sign of the Lost Boy. 90210 threatened to leave his brother, while others searched aimlessly, asking the townies if they knew of the invisible gate. Not That became impatient, while Rip Van saw images of ceviche and margaritas drifting from his sight. Manhattan Transfer, well, he just transferred to Manhattan for a while. Or at least he went somewhere else. DOWN came the spirits of those searching for the lost boy. The clock also counted down on the willingness to wait. 90210 showed some rare reporting skills, going all the way back to 1942, to the time of the hall and then finding the man behind the man, who was actually the roomate, who was Lost Boy's friend. But it was to no avail as the man behind the man did not know of the lost gate either. The four left their comrade, never knowing of the whereabouts of the invisible gate. SOON they four returned, as many as had left, so a successful trip was declared. The Lost Boy made it home safe and sound, thanks to a dinky bit of help from a train. But Three Packs will never be seen again in the realm of the Pink Palace, having been dethroned by a road-trip.