GUEST COLUMNIST: Penn men: take the Rogan challenge

Michael Rogan Michael RoganMen of Penn and perhaps of the world, I challenge you. I challenge you to succeed where others have failed. I ask you to look beyond tolerance and enter the realm of acceptance. I ask you to be my friend. Friendship is an odd term. It represents a relationship between one or more individuals. It is a give and take environment that benefits all involved in a unique way. A friend is someone who accepts you for who you are unconditionally. Throughout my life, I've had many friends from all walks of life. I still do. The only problem -- not that it really is a problem but an oddity for me as a male -- is that they are all women. Guys, it seems, have the inability to maintain solid friendships with me. It should not be difficult for me to get friends. I'm congenial and have a variety of interests. I make friends very easily, but I only seem to keep the women friends. I am not naive. I know why you have problems with what I ask. It is simply because I am gay. My sexuality is but a small part of who I am. But in this college environment, to you, it is all I am. Oh, sure I'm being obnoxious, and I'm openly declaring my sexual orientation? but you make it necessary. It is all you see. Which is why you do not see me. If you accept me because I would introduce you to many of my single, beautiful girlfriends? you have failed. If you accept me because, in your opinion, I do not act gay? you have failed. If you accept me because I'm not a visible queer? you have failed. If you accept me because God asks you to accept all sinners (hate the sin, not the sinner)? you have failed. If you accept me because I won't talk about it around you, while you mention your women? you have failed. If you accept me because I currently don't date? you have failed. I am not to be used as a date machine. I act as I act. I may be visible to the queer community or I may not be. I am not, in my wholehearted opinion, a sinner because I am gay. I may or may not talk about it. Do not ask me to be silent, if you bring up relationships. I may or may not choose to date at this point in my life. I do not believe in sexual conversion and promote homosexuality. I do believe people should have the right to be who they are, within limits (my sexual orientations does not interfere with your life or cause you direct harm). Have you gotten my point? So fraternity boys, ask me to pledge your frats. Ask me as an individual and fellow man, not as a token or quota filler. Jocks, simply go beyond that macho stereotype. Religious conservatives, view me as a decent human being. Insecure men, do not be afraid of me hitting on you or attempting to convert you or that people will think you are gay merely because you are my friend. True, I have generalized. These generalizations are based on my everyday life experiences. They are based on common stereotypes. This may or may not be the wrong thing to do. When I first came to Penn, I made friends very easily. About a month into my freshman experience, people found out I was gay. Male friends proceeded to distance themselves or see me less often. How do I know it was because of my sexual orientation and not my sanitation or personal skills? I know. I still kept all my female friends. In fact, I started making more. I thought this year would be different. I questioned my behavior from last year. Maybe I was too blatant. I realized it was a stupid concept. I am who I am. I do not force my self upon you, hit on you, or whatever. Men just possess this double standard. When they talk about their relationships, it is fine. If I open my mouth and share my thoughts, I have made a faux pas. The majority of Penn men and men of the world are just overtly defensive. A gay male represents a threat to their system. Men tend to represent the dominant individual in most aspects of life (except those that are matriarchal). A gay man can be viewed as a man that threatens their stance of dominance, whether they take the role of the woman in a relationship or not (which in itself is a heterosexist concept, there are not definitive roles in all gay relationships). Perhaps this world needs to have a power shift. Let women of the world take on the reigns of authority, and then perhaps viewpoints will change. I just do not think, as the world currently stands, men are able to accept me as an equal and as a friend. But prove me wrong. Accept the Rogan challenge.