DP SWAMIS: The quotes are real. So are the turbans.

Well, it's that time of the week, where we Swamis come down off of our Pink Palace floating carpets and administer our predictions to yet another great weekend of pigskin pugilism. Americans were filled with sadness as Towson lost its statehood and came down to earth with the rest of the academic community in changing its name to the University of Towson instead of the previous Towson State. Amidst of all of this ruckus, Towson tried to re-administer its national pride by joining the Patriot League. As Gordy Combs through his hair thinking of ways to defeat the styled Whartonite Quakers, he is reminded of Towson's two claims to fame in the NFL, former punter Sean Landeta and running back Dave Meggett. With only a day before the game, everyone is wondering how to defeat these confused Tigers. We Swamis left no stone unturned as we searched America. A short aerial jaunt to Apple Valley, Minn., provided the answers to our questions. At the home office of the Tiger Information Center, Janet Tilson made us aware of many common characteristics of the tiger. "Tigers are not team animals," Tilson said. "Tigers are solitary hunters. They don't cooperate well, except for mothers and daughters." Being the first meeting between the two teams, the Tigers will be in for a surprise as they find themselves on the fake grass of Franklin Field. Tilson feels that the game conditions should also prove to be a great factor. "Tigers are usually nocturnal," Tilson said. "They tend to shun the wide open spaces and bright light." In predicting the Tigers game strategy, Tilson feels the Quakers' defense is going to have to come up big early in the game. "Tigers are known for short bursts of speed, but they don't have much follow through," the tiger expert said. "Unless they can do something right up front, they probably don't have the stamina to make it all the way through to the end." Tilson's prediction of a 21-13 win for the Tigers is based on the Quakers' inability to score in the first half. Although tigers captivate her interest, Tilson questions their motives in this contest. "Theoretically I would be on the side of the tigers, but I don't think football would be their game."