GUEST COLUMN: "Time's not on her side"

All Rebecca Hornstein wanted was to vote for the future of student government. She could have, if the University had decided whether she is full-or part-time. It has been about a week now since it happened, since Nominations and Elections Committee Vice Chairperson for Elections Ben Goldberger told me he was pissing in his pants. I am pretty sure he wasn't disclosing this embarrassing fact to wrangle a free pair of Depends, or to obtain baby powder to prevent a diaper rash. In fact, if I had to bet, I would say his condition had something to do with my being upset about having been prevented from voting on the proposed student government constitutional referenda. I know. It sounds pretty pathetic that a second-semester senior would care about a referendum, let alone care enough to write a column about it for the DP. To be quite honest, these days it takes a lot to motivate me to any additional effort, but being prevented from voting was enough. The student manning the polling booth took my name, phone number and Social Security number, and informed me that someone would be in touch with me. A little after 6 p.m. that day, I was standing in front of Commons when I observed a friend of mine, a legitimately part-time student, a senior enrolled in only two classes, vote -- not only on the referendum, but also in Undergraduate Assembly elections. On Wednesday, the NEC did not call me. At 5 p.m., I wandered into Houston Hall where I ran into a friend who advised me that I should voice my concerns to the NEC. Oddly enough, NEC members in the group's office at the time were not sure whether I should have been permitted to vote. One NEC member said that since I am enrolled in three classes, I should have been able to vote. But it didn't matter anyway; the polls were closed. I was upset. I was rude. I said that as a full-time student, I received little enough from the University that I couldn't accept being prevented from voting. Interestingly enough, at no time did any of the five NEC members in the office advise me that I had the right to file a complaint. In the end, it didn't matter -- someone else filed one on the same issue. The next day, I ran into Goldberger, who was responsible for determining student voting eligibility. When I told him I had called the Bursar's Office and the College Office -- both of which considered me to be a full-time student -- Goldberger informed me that he was "pissing in [his] pants." I am, of course, assuming that this was meant to be a humorously snide remark, because when he and I looked between his legs, there was nothing -- no liquid, that is. That night, at the hearing on this matter, the complaint was withdrawn because the Registrar's Office does, indeed, consider students taking three credit units to be part time. According to the Bursar's Office, I am a full-time student. As a full-time student, I was billed $8,987 for the privilege of being registered for three classes this semester, instead of the two that would have enabled me to save mucho dinero as a part-time student. In fact, for what I paid, I could have taken four or even five credits. According to the College Office, I am a full-time student. Indeed, when I called on Thursday, March 27, Assistant Dean for Academic Advising and Graduation Auditor Husine Fetni advised me that, since I am enrolled in three or more credit units, I am a full-time student. Still, according to the Registrar's Office, I am a part-time student. It's not a misprint. It just doesn't make any sense. Why should one student be classified differently by branches of the same university? I don't know what the University gains by its creative accounting. All I know is what I lose. Regardless of the University's confusion over the seemingly simple question of the status of my enrollment, I fail to comprehend why a student organization such as the NEC -- which went to the trouble of coordinating student government elections with a raffle for Billy Joel tickets for the sole purpose of promoting student participation -- would turn away students who are, by the University's own designation, full-time students. In any case, all I know is that Ben Goldberger has a bladder control problem and I am paying to be a full-time student while receiving part-time benefits. Goldberger can see a physician. To whom do I turn?

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