DP Swamis

The 43-year tradition of pigskin prognostication. The quotes are real. So are the turbans. Speaking of humorous, we called Rob Hodgson's room for advice, and ironically, in deciding this weekend's Penn matchup he just couldn't make up his mind. He went back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth, and even after being given a ridiculously long time to decide, he opted for Penn, and then changed his mind again. Thanks for nothing Rob?. After flying our magic carpets to last week's drubbing of Lafayette in the not-so-friendly confines of Easton, Pa., this week's game is home on the Franklin Field turf. The band, still thoroughly exhausted from its not-so-lengthy performance last weekend, hopes to get out a note or two this weekend. We Swamis lift our turbans to their efforts and hope that Columbia, traveling to Lafayette this weekend, is not shut up by the monsters that wouldn't let our band play on. Roll on Columbia, roll on. In looking for answers on this weekend's slate of games, especially Penn versus the Bison of Bucknell, we boarded our magic carpets and whisked off to Bucknell Power Tool and to Bison Productions in L.A., but neither seemed to have any answers. The not-so-ironic coincidence that a company might have the words "Bison" and "tool" in the same sentence has been duly noted by us powers that be. Thus, in our search for advice on how to handle the not-so-fearsome Bisons, and our desire to drown our sorrows in a couple of brews, we flew our carpets straight for good old Smokey Joe's. We ran into bartender and guest Swami Joe Whelpi, who claimed this weekend's game is no contest: Penn will dominate because "the Bison is a lowly beast." Joe, we couldn't agree more. The swami posse flew throughout the Penn campus in search of Penn characters to give sage advice, bypassing Rosengarten Man, the peace-loving naked dancing lady, Fly-Man, the Quaker Shaker, Alex and the girls of 803 HRE, and Mr. Murph himself. All seemed otherwise occupied, but confident of a Penn victory. While we swamis realize that the result of the Penn game seems in little doubt, perhaps the score is the question. How much will Penn win by seems to be the question at hand. We consulted with our pal and doctor of engineering, a math whiz in his own mind, Johnny B. Good. Johnny (no not Cochran, silly) claimed the final score was incalculable due to several factors including random numbers, wind direction and astrological signs.