COLUMN: Dissension in the Ranks

From Lee Bailey's "The Immaculate Perception?", Fall '95 From Lee Bailey's "The Immaculate Perception?", Fall '95Contrary to popular belief, David Letterman did not create the top ten list. Predating Letterman by a couple of millennia is God, whose Ten Commandments as reported by Moses have been slightly more influential than "The Top Ten Things Lance Ito Does Under That Big Black Robe." Aside from the declarations of Letterman and God, however, there exists an unfathomable number of lists which categorize, count, tally and prioritize everything from the best-selling Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger to the most popular books in the former Soviet bloc. While the proliferation and existence of lists should come as no surprise, many Americans fail to recognize the power which such frequently misleading compilations hold over their own opinions and judgments. Some rankings familiar to all who read these words are those accorded by the "prestigious" newsweekly U.S. News and World Report to American colleges and universities. Unless you have been living in a computer lab in Steinberg-Dietrich, you know that the University has been estimated the eleventh-best in the land, trailing such annual favorites as Harvard, Yale and Stanford. What are the implications of this survey, quickly becoming an institution among both the dilettantes and gurus of higher education? One wishes the answer could be "nothing," but, alas, this is not the case. Both present and prospective students make many decisions and assumptions based on U.S. News' all too fickle analysis. The methodology by which the list is determined is infamously rife with errors and contradictions, which the publishers have even recognized. Yet it is inevitable that hundreds, or perhaps thousands of students will elect to apply to the Johns Hopkins University due to its staggering jump in the rankings. Indeed, many more students will probably apply to our school due to its own rise. Have things changed that much in one year? It is doubtful. Many at this university were elated at the improved evaluation. Members of the administration coolly admitted pleasure, while adding the wise caveat that the rankings are nonetheless somewhat inaccurate. So it is evident that U.S. News and World Report has created something of a trap, a double-edged sword. Ascending the list leads to a boost in publicity for the school, but also an increased reliance on flimsy statistical "analysis" produced primarily to sell copies of the publication. And who buys? Who else but the stage parents who enrolled their toddlers in the Princeton Review before they learned to read? Indeed, one could posit that the U.S. News list is the best-selling periodical dealing with higher education, with the possible exception of Playboy's "Women of the Ivy League," which is understandably more interesting but equally as irrelevant. In fact, one student was heard proposing that the pictorial be used as the criteria for overall school evaluation, in which case, he offered, Princeton would definitely register dead last. The dangers of the compilations are clear. They focus the attention of trustees, students and, despite their vehement denial, administrators on ill-structured formulations of superiority. The U.S. News pollsters have only been at their game for a few years, but who can say what power they will hold in two decades? Even now, several institutions have been accused of fudging data in order to gain more favorable results. Will higher education become an arena for bitter ratings wars, like those which currently plague television networks? One ought always to remember, of course, that the truly sensible will base their choices on more holistic criteria than the published lists, but one cannot ignore the power of popular perception. Perhaps it is preferable for America's top institutions to be without concentrated attention than to be subject to the whims of tenuous computation. It should also be said that neither the publishers nor the readers would profess to the lists' absolute authority. Most would say that it has given them an "approximation." It is surprising, however, just how much notice is taken when a school moves a notch or two. One must be careful not to become slave to the rankings. The lesson to be learned is this: One can take pride in the accolades he garners, regardless of how they came to be, but when the acclaim wanes, he must stand by his prior respect for the judge. And that may not be so easy. It is only appropriate that one concludes such an opinion with? THE TOP FIVE REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T READ THE SURVEY BY U.S. NEWS: 5. Dartmouth is in the top ten -- since when did kegs per students become a criterion? 4. Georgetown keeps falling. Don't they get points for a presidential alumnus? 3. No one needs a magazine to know where Cornell belongs. 2. Campus Copy would be glad to provide you with a much better list for a mere $60. 1. J.M. Barrie said, "The printing press is either the greatest blessing or the greatest curse of modern times, one sometimes forgets which."