OUT AND ABOUT: Fitting In, Some feel the Greek system has no room for gays and lesbians

Searching through each other's closets for something to wear, a group of freshman women eagerly discuss sorority rush. With anxious anticipation, they compare which houses they like already and what event they are going to tonight. Hearing the excitement down the hall, one woman tries to block out the noise, but cannot. She likes the idea of joining a sorority, but as a lesbian, she cannot envision a place for herself in the Greek System. While the members of the Greek System, during the last few years, have advertised their multiculturalism, many gay, lesbian and bisexual students say they do not feel that this diversity extends to sexual orientation. And those gays who decided against rushing say the nature of fraternities or sororities, which often hold mixers and date parties, is not conducive to having homosexual members. For those who do rush, choosing a house becomes a complicated process. They must decide whether to discuss their sexuality during rush, and risk getting cut because of it, or wait until after rush and hope that no one will hold it against them. When College freshman Gary Reddick, a Daily Pennsylvanian staff writer, rushed fraternities, he initially did not mention that he was gay. But, as Reddick became friends with some of the brothers and found out that they were planning a date party, he felt he had to say something. "I told a couple of the brothers that I was gay and asked them how they would feel about having a gay brother," Reddick said. "I was surprised at their reaction. They said they didn't think it would be a problem, and said they would bounce the idea off of some other brothers without mentioning my name." When Reddick saw the brothers again they told him that a few said they might feel uncomfortable, but overall, most people did not mind. The brothers also told Reddick that he could bring a man to the date party. Reddick said he was pleased that the brothers seemed so accepting, but went to the date party alone. "I thought it would pose less of a risk of confrontation if I didn't take anyone," Reddick said. Soon after the party, Reddick said he dropped rush, not because of anything the brothers did, but because of possible tension he thought his sexuality might cause in the future. "People in the house could have felt that it's one thing to have a gay brother, but it's another thing to live with him or share a room with him," Reddick said. Other students have found that whether people in the Greek system accept their sexuality depends on how comfortable they are with themselves. When Jodi Bromberg, a 1994 University graduate, rushed now-disbanded Kappa Delta, she never discussed it with the sisters. "I was afraid of the repercussions," Bromberg said. "I was with friends I had only met six months before, and wasn't sure how they would react. I was scared I would lose the friends I had made." Later that year, Bromberg decided to tell her big sister that she was a lesbian and asked if that would affect her standing as a pledge. "She told me that the only way it would affect my standing is if it prevented me from becoming a sister of hers," Bromberg said. "It was the most supportive answer I could have asked for." After Bromberg wrote about her sexuality in the supplement for Bisexual, Gay and Lesbian Awareness Days her sophomore year, she said that many sisters were eager to discuss the article with her. By her senior year, Bromberg was dating a woman and took her girlfriend to the formal. "I had a great time," Bromberg said. "It took a while to get to that point. I'm not sure I would have been comfortable doing that my sophomore year and I'm not sure the sisters would have been either. If you're uncomfortable with your sexuality then other people will be as well, because they will sense that." But Bromberg said that there are not many people who have met such tolerance and added that the InterFraternity and Panhellenic Councils must take an active role to make the Greek system more inclusive. "The system is inherently heterosexual," Bromberg said. "There are formals and crush parties, and many people who join houses for who they have mixers with. If the Greek system is going to be more welcoming [to gays] then the IFC and Panhel have to have programming. They have to reach out and say it's okay to be gay and bring someone of the same sex. "Fraternity and sorority members also have to stop the faggot jokes and the homophobic remarks. But, I'm not sure that will stop any time soon," she added. In past years, the Greek Social Action Committee has sponsored programs such as, "My Best Friend is Gay," according to Tricia Phaup, director of Fraternity and Sorority Affairs. Because GSAC is currently restructuring, Phaup said, it has not scheduled any outreach programs this semester. Phaup added that next semester she will encourage GSAC to sponsor workshops where students can look at the issues that surround sexuality and ensure that the system is "open-minded." Many have found that such workshops are sorely needed. After attending some fraternity parties, College sophomore Rob Faunce said that he confirmed his notion that homosexuals would not fit into the Greek System. "I've gone to fraternity parties and talked to some of the brothers about the house," Faunce said. "They talked about brotherhood and then always made some comment to one another about 'finding chicks.' There's an assumption of heterosexuality that isn't comfortable for me." In 1987, gay men from Washington who wanted the experience of joining a fraternity, but did not feel they would be accepted at typically heterosexual houses, formed their own fraternity, Delta Lambda Phi. Men from around the city, including college students and graduates, joined the organization that now has 25 active members. Now, there are Delta Lambda Phi chapters based at universities and in cities across the country. Similar to traditionally heterosexual fraternities, Delta Lambda Phi conducts a formal rush and pledging process, according to fraternity president Keith Lutman, a 1990 University graduate. Hazing is prohibited. Serving largely as a social organization, the fraternity hosts parties and activities for brothers only, including rock climbing, softball and dinners. Besides helping brothers get to know each other, the many activities provide an alternative to the gay bars, Lutman said. While the fraternity was not originally designed as a support group, Lutman said, the fraternity becomes a natural place for brothers to turn when they need help dealing with the painful issues that often surround being gay. For example, younger members, who are often still at college, are just coming out and look to the older brothers for guidance. Frequently, the men who are coming out do not feel comfortable going to gay bars, so the fraternity serves as a less conspicuous place to make gay friends. To maintain the fraternity's stability, Lutman said the brothers instituted a "Hands Off" policy, forbidding pledges from becoming involved with brothers and discouraging them from dating each other. While the fraternity does not prohibit brothers from becoming romantically involved, Lutman said such relationships rarely happen and are usually frowned upon. "By the end of pledging you know each other so well that you're not interested in dating the person you might have been interested in at the beginning," Lutman said. "That's not what we're about." Joining Delta Lambda Phi allowed Lutman to experience brotherhood, which he says he could have never found at the University. "I wasn't out in the beginning of college, but I knew enough to know that I couldn't fake my way through the questions, like, 'how many women have you had,' " Lutman said. "I know that's not the only part of fraternity life, but that's one of the myths I heard. "If I had heard about a gay fraternity at Penn," he added, "I would've been there." But many students said they have found social outlets through the University and by exploring the city. The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Association sponsors open dances every other week downtown. Gays from around Philadelphia and New Jersey attend the functions. Center City, with Giovanni's Room -- one of the world's largest gay bookstores -- and several gay clubs has also become a meeting ground for lesbian, gay and bisexual people. "It's the only place where I can dance with another gay man and not feel bad," Reddick said.

Please note All comments are eligible for publication in The Daily Pennsylvanian.