COLUMN: Slacking Off

From Charlotte Bluntly's "Putting It Bluntly," Fall '94 We did come to college to receive an "education," but this word connotes much more than a career decision or a tissue-thin piece of paper that states one's grade point average. F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote about the "slicker,"a term used to classify a certain type of boarding school or collegiate man. "The slicker ... had brains -- social brains, that is -- and he used all means on the broad path of honesty to get ahead, be popular, admired, and never in trouble" (This Side of Paradise). The name was coined from the slicked back hairstyle worn by "members" of this group. Hairdos change but certain attitudes are timeless. Now, at liberal arts colleges we have our own brand of "slicker," but the term "slacker" seems to fit better under today's circumstances. One obvious difference lies in the fact that today, because colleges are co-ed, the "slacker" can either be male or female. The main discrepancy lies in the "slacker's" approach to academics. While the "slicker's" main concern was his social status, the "slacker's" first order of business are his grades, and he will employ the same measures the "slicker" might have used to gain social acceptance in order to make Dean's List. Because we consider the "slacker" socially acceptable, the word takes on further implications. One reason that the "slacker" wishes to float through classes with ease is not only to seem so intelligent that he does not have to work, but also because it will leave him with more time for socializing. One might say that the "slacker" is just a bit more ambitious than his prototype because the "slacker" wants everything. He wants social status and a 4.0. Of course, some fragment of the "slacker" lies in all of us. Either we schedule our classes so that we don't have to get up before 11 o'clock in the morning (who cares if we are gypping ourselves out of taking an eye-opening, soul-searching, fascinating class? -- anything that starts before noon is hardly even considered); or, maybe we like having long weekends and would prefer not to have class on Friday. Still others hear that one of their courses is known to be extremely difficult and competitive, but, that if they take the CGS version at night, they're bound to have an easier time and receive a better grade. So, they miss 90210 on Wednesday night. Hey, you can always tape it, right? It's a good idea to take a "gut" course in the first semester of freshman year, because adjusting is a grand effort in itself. In the same way, it seems plausible that someone who hates science and finds it confusing should try to enroll in an easier science class in order to fill the requirement. The same applies for someone who thinks that taking an English class is harder than climbing Mt. Everest. While all of these schemes are forgivable and understandable when practiced in moderation, when they become a way of life, the result is a wasted education. This is where the "slacker "comes in. The slacker is the king (or queen) of shortcuts. He goes through college taking as many guts as possible, keeping track of what he has learned from word of mouth. It's amazing what an excellent memory a "slacker" can have when someone tells her that a class on " The I Love Lucy Show and Hollywood Blacklisting" is an easy 'A'. "Slackers" seem to have this symbiotic network whereby they scratch each other's backs. One slacker will give another his notes from Skydiving 101, if she, in return, gives him old copies of the exams she took in Farming 304. It is important to realize that "slackers" are not lazy in terms of motivation, and that they are not lacking in intelligence. On the contrary, they are very smart -- just look at how they've managed to beat the system. That takes much planning and scheming. In the ambition department, slackers are well-stocked. In fact, they are probably the most driven of students in one respect. They are so career-oriented, so bent on getting a flawless grade point average, that they will do whatever it takes, as long as it doesn't require a great deal of learning, studying or intellectualizing. Maybe "slackers" will leave Penn with a better transcript. Maybe they will find a better job with their smooth-talking charm and 4.0 record. But, will they truly be fulfilled? "Slackers" miss out on so much, and although ignorance is bliss and they don't realize how much they're losing, others should understand that "slackers" are paying 25,000 dollars a year towards one goal -- a degree that will lead to big bucks, a nice place in the social spotlight and a luxury car or two. That is not what college is or should be about. People originally came to college to broaden their horizons and polish their educations. Benjamin Franklin founded this school on a premise that people should learn about every aspect of academia and acquire a broad range of knowledge. He encouraged "learning for learning's sake," and that is the primary reason we ought to come to college: to learn -- to learn about ourselves, each other, and how wonderful challenging one's self is. Abigail Adams once wrote in a letter to her husband: "Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence." Slackers seek the means to escape learning with much ardor and diligence, but those who know better should take advantage of college while they can. Charlotte Druckman is a sophomore English major from New York City. Putting It Bluntly appears alternate Tuesdays.