COLUMN: Hi, How Are You?

From Kenneth Baer's "Wired for Cable," Fall '93 With my skepticism in tow, I nevertheless see potential in the Commission if, and only if, its members are willing to barbeque some of the University's sacred cows. As a columnist, I realize that discussing these changes in print or actually acting on them will yield a ferocious reaction. Yet, for this dialogue to go anywhere, these fears must be put aside. Before the Commission and the University's leadership tackle the more weighty issues, I offer one small suggestion to the Commission and the University leadership: lead by example. If you are committed to a civil discourse on campus, then refrain from publicly berating student leaders, such as the mild-mannered Executive Editor of this newspaper. When the Chairperson of the University's Board of Trustees, Alvin Shoemaker -- to whom the Commission reports -- ambled down Locust Walk on Alumni Weekend last spring, Stephen Glass offered him a copy of the DP. Shoemaker's witty retort: "You son-of-a-bitch, you asshole, you take that paper and shove it up your tiny little ass, you son-of-a-bitch." Now, not only is this statement repetitive, it's not very "strengthening." Set a tone of civil discourse that allows the discussion of all issues without the bile. I don't care if you are the Grand Poobah of Penn -- swallow your pride, Alvin, and apologize to Glass in person. With the leadership on board, we can now move on to two simple proposals which will be giant steps towards a strong University community. One, totally randomize freshmen housing – no requests for location and no college house or specialty floor programs. Two, end all freshman year fraternity and sorority rush. Neither of these two plans are a magic bullet that will result in free love and free beer on campus. They will probably only strengthen the community, not turn it into Superman. They will only postpone and alleviate – not eradicate – the cleaving of the University from Day One, freshman year. Totally randomized housing would mean that the only requests an incoming student can make for accommodations would be smoking or non, and the number of roommates he would prefer. Keep in mind that this step is operating under the "Hi, how are you?" principle. People you live near, and the people that hang out with them, almost always warrant a friendly greeting. Think about your freshman hall. I bet now, you will at least say "Hello" to 95 percent of them. And think back to when you shared living space with them. I venture to say that you were at least conversational with every single one of them -- at least when you needed something. Sitting in neighboring bathroom stalls for a year is the great social equalizer. Instead of retreating to their own enclaves that dot the University, one would vaguely know someone unlike them. At least, a renewed civility will take root, and at best, a deeper understanding of what makes each of us different. Remember, limited contact with "them" starts to form an "us." The second prong of the "Hi, how are you?" proposal deals with a subject dear to a large – but smaller than they think – section of our campus: Greeks. As fraternities and sororities from the IFC, Panhel, and BIG-C hawk their services on Locust Walk this week, think for a moment how their little fiefdoms affect the larger community which we are allegedly trying to construct. Starting next week, freshmen who have started to befriend their hallmates, classmates -- and anyone who is willing to divulge where they are from -- will now start flocking to a house that is just like them. Whether the factors are race, religion or breeding, come bid time many of these boys will find their way into a place that looks a lot like home. Fall pledging has resulted in an early balkanization of the freshmen class which is only minimally, if at all, recouped by graduation. Still have doubts? How many sophomore guys from different houses do you know living together? Speaking? That's what I thought. Pigeonholing people their first year at the University has huge implications on where they live and with whom they socialize. The congregating of like-minded and like-dressed individuals is inevitable at the University, but forestalling the fragmentation it entails can save Penn as a whole. With sororities, the situation is a little better due to their spring rush, a testament to the wisdom of postponing the Greek experience for a year. Yet spring rush still results in fissures, and it too should wait until sophomore year. Anticipating the angry, unintelligible letter from whoever heads the IFC these days denouncing any move to cut into three years of brotherhood, I say this: you're right. This move would greatly affect the Greek experience at Penn, but building the community inevitably means sacrifice from all interests at the University. Freshmen will have less choice in selecting housing; many black freshmen will have to forgo the camaraderie and programming of DuBois. As our self-professed future leaders, the Greeks should shut up, suck it up and lead. The debate over how to strengthen the University will undoubtedly be ugly and lead to vapid arguments and name-calling. But this fighting should only prove how vital the completion of this task is. If the University is truly committed to one big, happy Red and Blue family, then it must be willing to instill this spirit from the get-go. No matter how divisive one believes ethnic clubs, fraternities, and college house programs to be, the organization of like-minded individuals can not be prohibited. But instilling a sense of civic responsibility early in the game is possible. It all begins with, "Hi, how are you?" Kenneth Baer is a senior History major from Cherry Hill, New Jersey and the Daily Pennsylvanian's Editorial Page Editor. Wired for Cable appears alternate Wednesdays.