COLUMN: "Dress Like an Egyptian"

From David Chun's "The World According To Dave," Fall '92 From David Chun's "The World According To Dave," Fall '92"The fashion wears out more apparel than the man." · Penn is a diverse community filled with diverse dressers with zeal for self-expression. The unique fashion statement of the individual is often dependent upon multiple variables such as season, weather, mood, time of the day and type of excursion. Some take hours to prepare the perfect outfit, while others spend only few minutes. Some only spend a few dollars on accessories while others spend hundreds. Some plan matching outfits weeks ahead while others dress spontaneously. But one thing is for certain, it is never boring to observe the "vogue" ladies and the stylin' profilin' kind-a-guys on Locust Walk. If an extraterrestrial being from the M31 galaxy was to land on Locust Walk , sit at the Palladium, and classify everyone who walked by according to physical appearance, the alien probably could categorize the entire Penn community under six simple classes. 1) G.Q. Men - A unique class distinguished by strange apparel that hang like a rope around the neck and extend to the waste. Individuality is often personified by differentiating these so called "neckties." They often wear designer clothes made from Italy and are sponsored by patrons named Giorgio Armani and Valentino. 2) Polo Meisters - Distinguished from the rest of the classes by an emblem of a jockey on a horse. Also referred to as the "G.Q." wannabes or prep boys. They are endorsed by Ralph Lauren, the jockey, and are predominantly found on fraternal organizations on Locust Walk. 3) J. Crew Dudes - A strange class in which the fashion statements are dictated quarterly by a holy book called the "J. Crew Catalog." Individuality is expressed by ordering various components/outfits from the catalog through an 800 number. Most of the students at Penn fall under this category. 4) Gap Kids - Much like the J. Crew Dudes, the fashion statements of this class are dictated through regional centers called the "Gap Outlet." The members of this class favor five different solid colors and light blue jeans. Significant number of students at Penn also fall under this category. 5) L.L. Beaners - Often referred to as the prep boy wannabes or imitation J. Crew. Although the merchandise worn by the members of this class might be considered inferior to J. Crew, the affordable price range makes it a popular choice for some. 6) The Nonconformists - This category is reserved for those "rebels without a cause" dressers. Everything from camouflage, to Bart Simpson T-shirts, to black leathers are worn by this group. They are too diverse and too small to be independently separated. The point here is not that there are too many conformists on Penn campus. Nor should everyone follow the Bangles' lead and dress like an Egyptian. The lesson to be learned here is that Penn is a diverse environment where the individual has a choice to conform or not conform to Penn's fashion. But at the same time, just because someone chooses to conform and dress G.Q. or J. Crew, he or she should not be automatically stereotyped. After all, you can never tell the book by its cover. Also, Penn students should not be constantly preoccupied with what clothes they wear. With such a large number of students at Penn conforming to a certain style, there is an overwhelming pressure to over-emphasize and obsess over dressing. Finally, always keep in mind this small excerpt from Issac Watts' "Against Pride in Clothes": "Let me be dressed fine as I will, Flies, worms, and flowers, exceed me still." David Chun is a junior Political Science and Psychology major from Miami, Florida. "The World According to Dave" appears alternate Thursdays.

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