COLUMN: "All in the Family"

From Paul LaMonica's "A Room With A View," Fall '92 From Paul LaMonica's "A Room With A View," Fall '92Dear Mr. President, Who are you kidding? I like the American family just the way it is. Let me take you on a trip. I'll show you what my family is like. My parents divorced about ten years ago. My younger brother and I were raised by my mother. We saw our father on weekends. My dad remarried. His wife's -- my stepmother's -- father also remarried a couple years after his first wife died. So, my stepmother has a stepmother. I call this woman my grandmother. In actuality, she is my step-step grandmother. I have step-step aunts, uncles and cousins too. There are enough steps in my family to fill the Empire State Building. My mom gets along with my stepmother. My stepmother gets along with my mom. I get along with and love my stepmother. I have no problem with my step-step relatives. Confused yet? I see my step relatives more often than my blood relatives. One set of blood relatives lives in Queens, New York, and the other lives in Texas. What are Italians doing in Texas anyway? Practically all of my blood relatives are Italian. My step relatives are German. My stepmother makes a really good tomato sauce. It might be better than my mom's. Sorry Mom! A common conversation between my mother and I includes the word "fuck" about once every four words. I swear --no pun intended -- that we're related to Joe Pesci and Robert DeNiro. Eating dinner at my house is like a scene from a Martin Scorcese movie. Fights occur, and they can get ugly in my family. Things are said that aren't very nice, but aren't really meant. Grudges can be held. People won't talk for awhile, but eventually things get worked out and everything goes back to abnormal. What I'm trying to say is that the average American family is probably not like the Waltons at all. So what? Our families may not be the perfect family types that George Bush wants us to be, but I don't care. What is your ideas of family values, George? How's your son Neil? Does the name "Silverado" mean anything to you? The family values issues is a smoke screen to avoid the real issues. Focus on the real world, Mr. President. Read the papers? How do you explain the all-too-common stories about kids in Chicago and New York who get shot and killed while walking to school? Are they all children of single mothers? What's wrong with the economy, George? Whose fault is this, Congress? Did all the Democrats in Congress grow up with the wrong set of family values? What is your definition of family values, anyway? Is it love and respect for your children -- teaching them to share with others and not hate people? Or is it really some more propaganda from the religious right, something meant only to serve the best interests of white Anglo-Saxon Protestants, the Dan Quayle's, Pat Robertson's and "700 Club" people of the nation? Wake up, George! The 1950s are over. Elvis is dead. The Dodgers have left Brooklyn and Mommy doesn't stay home to clean the house and make sure Beaver doesn't get into trouble anymore. I'm voting for Clinton. It is a risk I'm taking. I'm still not comfortable with that choice yet, but at least he understands what family values are all about. He's had marital problems and has acknowledged them, saying that he and his wife have worked out their differences. We need someone to govern us that has a plan to help this nation, instead of a sermon. We don't need a President who has no clue about what the average American family must go through every day. That means you, George, and you too, Danny. Most families don't have a house in Kennebunkport where they can go to golf, fish and play tennis for two weeks. Most families are hoping to just get by in these tough times. If you ever took the time, George, to actually think about what the recession has done to everyone in this country and how much people are suffering, you'd realize that "family values" are not an issue. You said we're not falling apart at the seams We're the United States, for God's sake. Of course we'll recover. God bless America! On October 23, I read in The Philadelphia Inquirer about a survey. One out of every four companies that were surveyed said they would have to lay off people before June 1993. One in every two said they had laid off people in the last year. I'm sure these people all have families. You're pretty secure, George. You have nothing to worry about, but what about the rest of us? Think about that. What happened to the American dream, George? I hate to sound bitter, George. Blame it on my family. I was brought up to be cynical and stand up for what I believe in. Paul LaMonica is a sophomore Psychology major from North Babylon, New York. "A Room With A View" appears alternate Tuesdays.

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