LETTER: Scared Victim

As a woman who has had an "acquaintance" rape her, as a rape crisis counselor and as a human being, I am absolutely and completely appalled at the ignorance and insensitivity of the men how call themselves Skippy and Bat in "The Girl Who Cried Rape" (DP 2/14/92). Rape is not a joke or a game. It is a violent, inhuman and emotionally destructive crime. I was raped years ago by someone I thought I could trust, and it still haunts my existence to this day. And even if I had never experienced this myself, I would still realize the extent of this crime after hearing the terrifying facts. One in four girls and one in seven boys will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18. A rape occurs every eight minutes. More than 50 percent of rapists are known to the victim. The FBI estimates that four to five percent of rape reports are false, yet no more than fifty percent of assailants are apprehended. Only one out of ten rapes are ever reported. Why? Unfortunately, it is also a fact that society is not kind to a survivor of rape. It is commonly believed that it only happens to "sluts" or "women who asked for it." Nationally, victims range from three months to 97 years of age. I have seen people's grandmothers, mothers and children as a rape crisis counselor. As for the legal system, I agree that it is far from perfect. It is well known that if you have been raped and go to court, chances are the experience is going to rape you again. So, Skippy and Bat think they understand rape. Do you know how it feels when a man pushes you in a room and locks the door behind him? Can you comprehend the confusion and fear as that man pushes you onto a bed as he pushes his hand down on your chest with all his weight so you can't breathe, never mind scream? Do you realize the repulsion as he forces his tongue in your mouth and on your body as you hopelessly try to push him away, although you are no match for his 60-pound weight advantage? Can you possibly begin to comprehend the shame and pain as he forcibly rips off your underwear and rips into your body, shredding you of any sense of dignity and self-respect? Bruises? No, I had no visible bruises, but I would rather have had both my legs broken and my face bashed in than this degradation. Those wounds would heal, and mine never will. Yes, I have survived this nightmare, and I thought I would never feel fear and disgust like that again. I was wrong. Today, reading this article, not only did I feel that horribly familiar fear from my own victimization, but also the fear felt by the millions of women who have shared my experience. And I can barely contain my disgust at the presumption and absolute ignorance of Skippy and Bat. So you guys are "scared shitless" of being rapists? You can't even begin to know how "scared shitless" feels. You're just full of shit. HAE SIN KIM Wharton '93 Women Organized Against Rape

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