COLUMN: "The Victim's Responsibility"

From Jennifer Kornreich's "The Devil Made Me Do It," Spring '92 She described what oral sex was really like when we were first graduating from those lame training bras and finally growing breasts capable of being felt up. So we always assumed that any sex she had was invited. One day during our senior year, Kim, another girl and I were having a girls-only, deliciously detailed conversation about sex. Suddenly Kim shocked us; she said that she lost her virginity as a freshman when a boy she'd been dating for quite a while raped her in his car. She had willingly taken almost everything off, but she'd tried to push him off and yell when he got down to his ultimate goal. She said she never told anyone before because her father would kill her -- and anyway, she was nearly naked of her own volition. If she couldn't prove anything, what was the point? The point? It makes me sad that she missed it. · We are finally, albeit slowly, supplanting the Neanderthal concept of rape as a natural outgrowth of the tension between masculine lust and feminine wiles. However, as rape awareness penetrates the public arena, there are two troubling trends in thinking about the issue that may endanger all of the progress we've made. The first disturbing phenomenon is the extension of the definition of rape to include sexual acts which are unwanted, but unresisted, by the woman. This redefinition, which essentially demands that men must read women's minds, is one that defies all common sense and is offensive to women like Kim -- whose wills have been expressed and nevertheless ignored. In fact, the trend of using the word "rape" indiscriminately is akin to the Boy Who Cried Wolf; it undermines the credibility of true victims. The second impediment to the destigmatization of rape victims is less noticeable -- mainly because it has been championed in the name of protecting the victims. I'm talking about those so-called "women's advocates" who encourage the silence of a victim loath to press charges in order to guard her "privacy." These people are so intent on protecting the woman's already-battered psyche that they inadvertently abet the criminal. More damage is done when people distort the right to privacy by encouraging reluctant victims not to press charges. The complaint constantly made is that the victim is the one put on trial -- that she is, in effect, re-victimized. I whole-heartedly agree -- anyone who's read about how defense lawyers have mangled the reputations of the Central Park jogger, Jennifer Levin, and the St. John's student can see how unfair tactics have been used against the victim. These are unfortunate but inevitable consequences of the adversarial, guilty-until-proven-innocent nature of our legal system. The burden of proof is on the plaintiff -- that is, the victim or her advocates. And even then, without more than circumstantial evidence, the victim loses. However, it is nevertheless crucial that the victim go through this nightmarish process. First of all, while on the short-term level pressing charges is traumatic, most psychiatrists and psychologists agree that, in the long run, it is much more emotionally devastating for the victim to keep silent. At the very least, the testimony functions as both cathartic therapy and preservation of self-respect. Furthermore, remaining silent inadvertently implies an admission of guilt. We will never get beyond the mentality that rape victims are somehow tainted and culpable unless they stop hiding from the trial as if ashamed of something. At age 20, Kim still feels that she is somehow to blame. Likewise, the choice to keep quiet, and yet write "X is a rapist" on the walls of a Van Pelt john -- a choice that some women at this school have made -- makes the victim look sneaking and spiteful, not credible. Indeed, women in general will never be treated with equality and respect unless we stop assigning them the role of helpless victim with no ability or responsibility to take legal recourse. Women should not take the blame for their rapes, but they should take responsible measures to put the blame where it lies. Watching William Kennedy Smith stand trial, I, along with the jury and many other people, did not believe Patricia Bowman was raped. The proof was too sparse; the story, inconsistent. But you know something? If we're all wrong, and she was raped, then I'm glad she came forward, even though she wound up getting shellacked in the press for it. Because you can bet that if Willie is a rapist, then -- thanks to Bowman -- he's going to have to watch his ass in the future. A criminal, even if acquitted, is more likely to forego future crimes if he's brought to court. Finally, rape, while an assault on the individual, is also a crime against society. Rapists will often attack several women until finally accused. This means that despite the total drain a trial presents, the victim's fear and pain -- while excruciating -- do not absolve her from the civic obligation to help stop the rapist from striking again. Look, we make kids -- talk about fragile psyches! -- testify against their daddies in child molestation cases. People who know of a murderer and don't turn them in are considered accomplices. In much the same way, the right to privacy -- while including protection of the victim's identity and the inadmissibility of her sexual history and appearance -- does not include allowing a criminal to remain a societal threat because it's less painful to do so. To insist that it does is reprehensible and contrary to the principles of the anti-rape movement. If this seems harsh and insensitive, think of it this way: if you have not been raped, perhaps you can thank a frightened, scarred, but unselfish woman who has called attention to the animal who might have gotten you next. · Kim told me recently that she wishes she'd warned the other girls her rapist dated about what he did to her. She's pretty sure the same thing happened to them. Jennifer Kornreich is a junior English major from Roslyn, New York. "The Devil Made Me Do It" appears alternate Tuesdays.

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