COLUMN: "No Dirty Fingernails, Please"

From Jennifer Kornreich's "The Devil Made Me Do It," Spring '92. Beauty is only skin deep. You look as good as you feel. It's not what's on the outside that counts; it's what's on the inside. Has anyone ever bought any of that crap? · One of my most memorable classes at Penn featured a heated discussion on a poem by Lord Alfred Tennyson called "Tithonus." For those unfamiliar with the myth, Tithonus was an eye-popping-gorgeous Greek mortal adored by Eos, the goddess of the dawn. Fancying himself a pretty lucky guy -- how often to you get to bed down a deity? -- Tithonus got up the nerve to ask Eos to give him the gift of immortality. She eagerly asked Zeus to help grant her studmuffin's wish. Unfortunately, it didn't occur to quick-witted Eos (too much sun, I guess) to also ask for Tithonus's eternal youth. Consequently, the poor guy had to live forever getting older. The poem picks up with Tithonus, by now nearly a raisin, ruing the day he requested immortality and begging Eos to overcome her love for him and to let him die. · The professor wanted to know if we felt sorry for Tithonus. I sure did. I proffered the insight -- logically enough, I think -- that once you get into the forever-n-ever zone, you must become so wizened and shrivelled and bent that you don't resemble something human anymore. This strikes me as a harrowing experience. One man in the class attacked my rationale. I did not pity this sadsack whatsoever. Nay, he was morally outraged. After all, he asked for immortality, Eos was nice enough to comply, and even though he'd lost his looks, he still had his mental facilities and Eos, too. Moreover, Eos loves him unconditionally; she's just so much deeper than our dubious hero. If he were a good person, this man contended, Tithonus would quit yammering about that peach pit he once called a face and start kissing his love-goddess's feet. He punctuated that tirade with a disgusted glare my way that pretty much shouted, You superficial wench. And was I shamed? Did I see the error of my ways in getting stuck on the physical tragedy? No. But I did conclude that my classmate was a hypocrite. · Caring about physical appearance is a natural part of humanity. This is because a major component of our self-image is comprised of our self-representation. Our self-representation, in turn, is largely derived from our reflection in the mirror, for lack of other means. This is why most young girls at the onset of puberty anxiously await bigger breasts; they cannot sense their femininity merely by their feelings (i.e. their sudden attraction to boys) or by their intellect ("well, I just got confirmed/bat-mitzvahed, so I'm a woman now"). They seek physical verification. Conversely, like it or not, most people I know have trouble finding someone else's "true self" if there is an exceptionally horrendous bag of flesh containing it. This is why I -- along with about 15% of Penn students -- got a nose job. I was genetically destined to get my father's nose. Now, this nose gives my dad, an absolute cutie, what we often call "character." Unfortunately, I -- and, I'm pretty sure, a lot of other people -- had difficulty ignoring the fact that I looked like I was about to topple over from the weight of my schnozz; indeed, "character" and my other nonphysical qualities were not what anyone saw. Is this terrible? Yes, of course, but that's the way it is. While more permanent qualities such as kindness, intelligence and personality are major factors in our judgments of others -- and should be -- looks do count. If we can get others to accept our appearance, then we can induce them to approach us to know our inner beings. People who deny this do not worry about how they represent themselves, and thus discourage interaction with others. · Does this mean that all those of us who aren't quite so devastating are doomed to suffer from our own and others' low regard? I, for one, am happy to note that this is not the case. Because, fortunately, although looks are important, one maxim we learned as tots is true: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And beauty is only one criterion used in the perception of others. A nice-looking guy with a knockout personality is generally more preferable to a downright sexy jerk (although a stallion with a knockout personality would be nice, too). So smile the next time you get a compliment on your looks -- even if you don't agree. Let's just be grateful that physical appearance, which is important to everyone, is assessed by as many different standards as there are people. Jennifer Kornreich is a junior English major from Roslyn, New York. "The Devil Made Me Do It" will appear alternate Tuesdays.

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