COLUMN: "By Any Other Name . . ."

From Bill Madison's "Crackers In My Soup," Spring '92.From Bill Madison's "Crackers In My Soup," Spring '92.· "What?" "You know, college," my cousin asks. You have no idea. My cousin is far too young and much too sheltered to have a clue. His parents won't give him the real story anyway. I also don't want to be responsible for any bias he may develop for higher education. But he deserves to hear the truth. So, cuz, you want to know what Penn's really like? Well . . . I'll presuppose for discussion that your life has parallels to my own. With that premise established, I will assume that you are (or were) an idealist, having grown up thinking that the world was the same place your parents hoped it would be. But you soon realized that it wasn't. I'm sure you learned very early on that people group together based on differences, and qualities associated with those differences. Your parents, in an effort to give you the best education possible, left you culturally isolated in all-white schools. I'm assuming that you've always felt different, whether it was from being the only black student in most of your classes since kindergarted or by having instructors perceive your intelligence as anomalous, therefore deeming you as "special." Adolescence will probably be a period of cultural self-discovery for you. You will gradually see friends who have had for years become a component of their color; those who are black and those who are white. You will have to rationalize why some friends of a few years ago feel that ". . . although we're buddies, I just don't think that you would enjoy yourself at this party." Sports will become a social conduit, giving you the opportunity to bond with other black males whom you don't see in your classes. They wonder why you're the only one in all those white classes, while you ask yourself the same question. Your classes might become more intolerable. You might even begin to resent the genuine disbelief from white students when you get the highest mark in a class. White students, who begin to question your blackness, will also annoy you. You will field comments like, "Why don't you talk like most black people I see?" or "Why don't you play soccer instead of basketball?" Your authenticity as a black male will always be under scrutiny because you don't fit into some stunted formula. But it will be most painful when black peers continue with the same diatribe. "You know, you should try to sound more normal," "Why do you take all those books home with you after school?" or "Why do you listen to some of that weirdo white music, huh?" But instead of trying to explain that Jimi Hendrix was BLACK, that you talk the way you do because that's how you grew up, and that you take home books because you have homework, you will try to understand how you all could go to the same school. You'll contemplate how such a good school could ignore the needs of so many. But towards the end of your senior year, having dealt with so much intolerance and ignorance, you will endure the biggest insult of the past twelve years. "So, where are you going next fall?" "Well, since I got into Penn, I'm fairly sure that's where I'm going to end up. It really seems like it's going to be a change from all the pettiness here in high school. I can hardly wait to move in." "Hey, an Ivy League. Way to go! I mean, that school's so competitive and all. But I think it's really unfair how you got in just because you're black. You probably got into every school in the country." Your entire primary and secondary education, most of which was spent with people just like your "friend," will be nullified by the color of your skin. Instead of remembering that you were the one that sat next to him throughout all those honors classes - and helped him study for more than one final - he will only remember that you are black. Instead of seeing a college education as your right, many people will see your presence at any university as a privilege that you don't deserve and couldn't have possibly earned. Penn begins as a promise that ends with a lie. A "liberal" arts institution of "higher" learning? Penn is not as liberal as some would have you believe, and the education that should take place here is often stilted by small minds. In that way, Penn is not so different from high school. So, cousin, you want to know what college is like? I'm sure you'll know before you ever set foot on campus. · Bill Madison is a senior International Relations major from Alexandria, Virginia. Crackers In My Soup will appear alternate Tuesdays.

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