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Happy Thanksgiving, Y'all!

Gobble gobble!

In Shocking News, Traveling Through PHL Is A Nightmare

So you thought you were being so clever, eh? Ducking out on some/all of your Wednesday classes, and maybe Tuesday's too, to bounce home for Thanksgiving. Yet you forgot one crucial thing— the Philly airport sucks. Of course, sometimes it doesn't suck, but when you add rain and a holiday to the mix, you're only asking for trouble. We want to know how bad it got!

Reggie Love, Obama's Body Man, Is Enrolling At Penn

The best-named person in the White House is bringing his talents to Penn.

Penn football earns 4 first-team All-Ivy picks

The Ivy League announced its football honors today, and four Quakers made first-team All-Ivy — two of which were unanimous selections.

Penn Senior Dies After Half Marathon

We wanted to compile the information on this tragic turn of events for you all, so here's what's going on. As The DP reports, a 21- year old male Penn student collapsed at the Philly Marathon this afternoon and died shortly after being taken to Hahnemann University Hospital. The student was Wharton and Nursing senior Jeffrey Lee, and there will be a support session tomorrow night at 8 p.m. in the Ben Franklin Room of Houston Hall. As always, students in need of extra support can visit CAPS, the University Chaplain’s Office and the Vice Provost for University Life.

The Abroad Blog Game

Abroad blogs: the herpes of study abroad. For a semester, your junior friends' Twitters are cluttered with links to "awesome pics from this weekend's trip" as you receive emails you didn't sign up for lamenting the lack of proper outlets or like, how totally crazy it is that people speak different languages.

Penn Hit By The Masturbation Meme

Perhaps you've seen this on your newsfeed recently— a "Masturbation Notice" from, oh, just about any college at this point. While most state schools are lazy and just Photoshop their logo in, it appears someone at Penn actually took the time to print out their own fake warning and post it for all to see. Don't be fooled; this apparently infallible meme has been around for ages.

Aggressive PennDems Publicity Stunt Is Pretty Creative

Okay PennDems, we see you. We're trying to walk past your stupid— oh, hey, yeah, what's up, do we like cookies or brownies?  Well okay, fine, we like brownies. But we'll take cookies too. Just give us—what? No, we don't have a Pennsylvania ID... or a passport, what, why do you want that? Hold up.

PennPorn: Your Pretty Fall Pictures

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Your Essential Homecoming Links

Don't have time to sift through everything to find homecoming details because you're already drunk? Never fear, we've rounded everything up right here. The official Homecoming website Street's guide to Homecoming The DP's history lesson The sports stuff lowdown (don't forget, we're playing Princeton of all people) Our homecoming hookup system Registration for Class of 2015, 2014, 2013 and 2012 events The Blarney Facebook event Are we missing anything? If so, leave it in the comments. Happy homecoming!

Homecoming Point System

We all know Homecoming is for one thing: getting with hot alumni. But sometimes indiscriminately macking on everything that moves can get boring, dramatic or even dangerous. That's why we've come up with the most efficient way to enhance your  hookups: our very own point system!

Hoagie Handouts— Sick of the anxiety that comes with stealing hoagies from Wawa? Get your free sandwiches the good ol' fashioned, honest way; win them! Our friends at Uwishunu are running a contest that will hook you up with hoagies for a year. It's easier than making those cheesesteak field goals at the football game.

Who Will Be Obama's Super-Secret Guests?

If you're on any listserv touched by PennDems, chances are you've heard about the Obama Student Summit, some kind of official kickoff to courting the the youth vote. Sounds pretty cool if you're into that kind of thing. But, even if you're not, those wily PennDems hope you might buy into a little mystery and intrigue; materials they've sent out say we can look forward to "'special guests' (wink wink)!"

Let Us Help You Navigate Your Halloweekend

Trying to map out a party agenda? Let us (and by us, we really mean Facebook) steer you in the right direction. Here's the best and worst of Halloween events (read: puns) sprinkled with enough cultural experiences to make us not feel like total degenerates.

South Korea Is Here To Chat

At this point, we're not even surprised that the Ambassador from South Korea, Han Duk-soo, has decided to give a speech in College Hall 200 today at 2 p.m. Update: Oops! Little switch in the program— instead we got the Consulate General for Korea in NY, Young-Mon Kim. He used to be an Ambassador though, so still really cool. The rest of the post still applies.

The #AWKupation From Inside Huntsman

People are chanting "Whose university? Our university!" but, um, how many protesters actually go here? Weird that people are now protesting university students; isn't it usually the other way around? Also, thanks Eric Cantor for ruining what we're sure was supposed to be a productive Friday afternoon for many people (especially those who had class in Huntsman!).

Now They're Occupying Penn

Not satisfied with Eric Cantor's rude rejection of our school, the Occupy Philly folks have taken a little vacation to our neck of the woods. They marched up Walnut Street and are now here to do... pretty much what they've been doing downtown all this time, which is still a little unclear. This picture was sent to us from inside Huntsman, which probably says a lot in and of itself. Quite a few more photos after the jump.

We Like Sports: Yale Edition

This weekend is a big one for Penn sports: we've got the Line tonight (complete with new "you don't have to stay the whole time to come" rules), then an epic Penn-Yale showdown across four separate games on Saturday and Sunday. Planning on heading to Franklin or Rhodes Field (the weather will be lovely, we suggest you do)? Don't be an uneducated fan! Here's some things you can reference to prove you know more about Yale than they do about Penn, and a few things you might even be able to taunt them for.

Mysterious Biden Souvenirs Found In Houston Hall

A stack of nametags was casually chilling in the middle of Houston Hall from yesterday's Biden event, including that of the big man himself. What at first glance seems like sloppy housekeeping could very well be something more; someone, maybe Biden himself, left an intriguing note inside the VP placard. The small piece of paper simply read, "We should depart."

Politicians Prefer Penn

Continuing this month's trend of awesome speakers coming with little fanfare, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor will be speaking in Huntsman on Friday at 4:30 p.m in room G06. It seems like the event is first-come first-served with serious security, so show up mad early if you're interested in attending. Or you could just, you know, #occupy the speech.