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(02/28/18 8:08am)
I know what you’re thinking, and it’s absolutely not true. I may have every driving app on my phone, but the truth is: I only use them for emergencies. You know, like if I’m running late, or it’s snowing. I never use Uber; their CEO sucks— but I do keep the app on my phone for real emergencies, like if Lyft’s rates are too high. So how, you might ask, do I visit my two friends at Drexel? The answer is simple: I take SEPTA.
(02/23/18 4:22pm)
Martin Turner (C ’21) has made the decision that coding is not for him. This realization struck him when, despite working for eight hours a day one day a week, he received his second failing grade on an assignment for CIS 110. Reportedly, Turner said that he could turn the grade around "if he really wanted to," but he didn't want to miss the drop deadline and risk trashing his GPA over Java. Also, yeah, okay, he had "literally never worked harder in his life than he did for that class." Not everyone is born with the innate ability to hack.
(02/22/18 8:42am)
Physics 150 students were elated Monday
to find the proctor not enforcing the official class policy that seats during
exams must be staggered. “Usually there’s at least some exam A and B
bullshit, but this was the real deal,” gushed Tom Clark (C ’22). “I was taking the exact same exam as the guy next to me! And this guy was super nerdy. We’re
talking thick-framed glasses
and color-coded notes. I knew I had a shot for a good grade this time.”
(02/17/18 11:51pm)
This has been a turbulent week for students at the
University of Pennsylvania, where professors are under pressure to combat the grade inflation that has been rising steadily since the ‘90s. Some
professors have been quick to criticize the new policy, arguing that the old
grading metrics need to be corrected for the social media and technology
addictions that have brought
down academic standards in schools and universities across the nation.
(02/08/18 2:00pm)
Flu season is upon us, and if you’re one of the unlucky many
to be stricken with the virus, chances are there’s only one concern on your
mind: how will you tell all of your past partners that you have the flu?
Scientists estimate that the incubation period for the virus is 1-4 days, but we
recommend going back until at least that werewolf that you brought home on
Halloween to be safe. It’s hazardous to the health of the entire school if
there are people walking around campus unaware that they’re at risk for the flu.