*This story appeared in the 2011 Joke Issue.
On Jan. 25, The Daily Pennsylvanian published a wildly successful — and wildly controversial — 2011 State of the Union Drinking Game. We apparently haven’t learned from the backlash we received. Here’s a drinking game to make your daily perusal of the DP a little more exciting.
Take a shot for every typo you find in the paper.
Take a shot for every phallus you see on the front page. Take another if it’s made of snow.
Take a shot every time a student gives a stupid response on “Word on the Walk.” Finish your drink if that student is you.
Take a shot every time we quote Isabel Friedman in a story that has nothing to do with her.
Nurse your drink if Tyler Bernardini has a cold.
Take a shot every time you see an uncomfortably awkward wrestling photo.
Take a shot every time Seth Zweifler uses an anecdotal lede.
Take a shot for every minute theDP.com is down.
Drink a highball every time Alec Webley gives a history lesson.
Take a shot for every article in this joke issue that you thought was real.