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I have this theory about life and regret.

Senior year — senior spring in particular — seems to be a perfect, natural time to think through these types of existential questions. It’s this inflection point, one where we break out from the bubble of college into full-on adulting, where we start to feel even more pressure to “figure out who we are.” Because that’s what college is for, isn’t it?

But, this being Penn, we’ve spent so much time stuck in GSRs or windowless offices or practice fields or seemingly endless club meetings that it feels like we haven’t had the time to reflect and grow. Who has time to think about weighty topics like life and regret when there’s an econ exam coming up in six hours and you’ve barely been to class and I’VE JUST REALLY GOT TO STUDY, OK??

Maybe you regret all this. Some of you do. You feel bad that you spent all those hours studying when you should have been flirting over margs or taking more day trips to Atlantic City. Or maybe you’re really beating yourself up over the fact that you spent a little too much time getting to know Joe and Kweder and too little in that class (yeah, you know which one I’m talking about). Maybe you had a breakup that really sucked, or a relationship that never even happened because you were too anxious to talk to that guy in your psych recitation.

When you leave this place, and as you continue throughout the rest of your life, I urge you to not regret a thing. Not because all your decisions were perfect; I guarantee that a decent number of them weren’t. But because of my theory. It goes like this:

Life is about loving yourself always. If you regret, it’s impossible to fully love the person that you are.

Our lives are the culmination of our past experiences. Regardless of how awful or amazing those experiences are, they mark us and shape us. Without them, we would not be the individuals we are in the present. If we begin to regret — even the god awful, unspeakable moments — we reject the effect they have on who we are today, and in turn we reject part of ourselves. It becomes impossible to fully love yourself if you are not able to accept all that has made you who you are.

This is, of course, not easy. Life is hard. It is a constant struggle that leaves scars and marks that are hard to ignore. We all struggle with the past, every day. There will always be memories that challenge your attempts to fend off regret.

But as you breathe and have the space to finally reflect on your time at Penn, try not to regret. If you succeed, you will find that you can love yourself even more.


MATT MANTICA is a senior in the College from Okemos, Mich., majoring in urban studies and political science. He is a former copy editor, social media director and president of the DP.

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